We have 3 children, one of whom we adopted as a toddler. There have definitely been challenges above normal parenting trials and tribulations, nowhere near the worst end of the spectrum though. All in all, at age 4, we are enjoying a ‘far calmer than we ever thought we’d get to’ family life. One birth child is still a young baby and we feel enormously fortunate to have everything we’d ever hoped for and a blissfully noisy and chaotic home life.
We still have contact with an extended family member for adopted child and regularly spend additional time with half sibling. In a very round about way we have also gotten to know another child over the last year who is a LAC, in the same placement although not actually a biological relative. I assumed the child was being worked up for adoption and obviously am not aware of their full background. However I learned recently that SWs are looking for long term foster for the child, seemingly thinking they won’t be able to find an adoptive placement for them. Had they been offered as a possible match at the start of our adoption journey I would have unequivocally said yes so I was very surprised at the decision. Obviously we are now in a very different position and have 3 other children’s needs to consider very carefully, but on the face of it I would still be very grateful of the chance to be considered and to find out the full depth of their background, emotional damage and needs etc. I am absolutely realistic that if we ever got as far as being considered it would be a far far greater challenge than we have faced previously. I am also realistic that in an ideal world they would be better placed as an only or younger child. But these placements are clearly not available and I personally think there are some benefits of being part of a family unit too. (They had tried to find an only child placement for our AC but were unsuccessful. For all the times when they haven’t been able to be our sole focus there are infinitely more moments of sibling mischief making, in cahoots about sweet stealing and midnight feast planning etc etc...)
I’m not sure where i’m Going with this, or what I am asking. I’ve fallen for the child (but appreciate that is a very superficial reaction.) I would really appreciate the views of people who have further extended their families through a more challenging adoption, or people who have been the siblings in this situation?
Thank you so much for reading this far.