Failing local authority

[Treefern]

Dear all

My husband and I are approved foster for adoption carers and have a child placed with us who we hope to adopt. We are adopting via a council which is considered to be failing and by far the most stressful part of the process has been the stress of dealing with the LA. We have been shocked by the chaos they seem to be in and they they routinely give us information which is factually incorrect or fail to tell us about information which we need to know. The social workers we deal with are really trying their best - but often appear to have worrying low levels of understanding of child development, adoption law etc. and seem to struggle to understand the complexities of our case.

I am getting really upset and stressed out with it - but on the one occasion we did complain, we were effectively threatened that they might start considering other adopters alongside us to adopt the child in our care. I wondered if anyone has any advice on how how to deal with this - both practically and emotionally. I have considered writing to my MP to alert him to the situation but wonder if this could just antagonise the LA further. We are trying our best to be very conciliatory and helpful towards them because we are terrified that they have it in their power to just remove the child we hope to adopt.

Any advice gratefully received.
T

Are you in a position to file for the adoption order ? If so do that. They cannot remove a child once the application is lodged until the legal side is resolved. Has a placement order been granted ? Is so how long has child been with you. You csn go direct to the court after 12 months anyway . Is that an option at this stage.?
If not then i would sit it out and bide my time. Complain after it is all over though i am not sure they can just remove a child without a good reason. Your child must have a guardian ad litum to represent their interests . As you probably know they are indeoendant and represent the childs best interests so they may well be v helpful to you. Contact them at any hint by the local auth that they are looking at other placements !
Hope you get things resolved soon. Some la are terrible. We are foster carers and adoptors and have had some shocking experiences with local authorities The incompetance is astounding at times but sadly not unusual !

I know this will probably sound like a really daft question but bear with me. What do want to complain about - is it something specific that you need resolving, or the general situation?. Are you concerned about lack of information, incorrect information, post adoption support. Making a complaint rarely achieves anything, you need to focus on what it is you need to change and find another approach.

If the LA has been categorised as failing, writing to your MP will probably not result in anything, if its failing there will be reviews and action plans being put into place so there won't be much they can do. Contacting your local counsellor may be more helpful.

I'd agree with flapjack, are you in a position to file for the AO, if you can do so. If not, and you are committed to this child, I think I would ride it out until you can file.
Good luck, hope you can get it sorted soon

Thanks - you both make good points. Flapjack, it is weirdly reassuring to hear you have experienced this kind of incompetence. I sometimes think I'm going mad. Ted27 your thoughts are challenging but helpful. When I think about why I want to complain, it's more from a sense of outrage than to achieve any action on our case - and you are of course right that the fact they are in special measures means I wouldn't be telling anyone anything new.

I feel so upset and angry at how we have been treated but, aside from their general incompetence, my main complaint concerns a mistake which cannot now be undone - in brief, we were told the child we took in was v low risk of return to birth family. We only later found out she was actually at v high risk and that this was known by the LA before she was placed with us and introduced to our 4 year old as a new sibling. We think it was incompetence rather than malice but that doesn't make it much better. We have now, of course, fallen in love with a child who was probably never a suitable match for us.

Anyway, I think my reflection, helped by your comments, is that rather than thinking I can change anything, I probably need to think more about how I can deal with my own stress and anger. I wonder if anyone knows of any counseling or groups that might offer some psychological support for fosterers/adopters? I feel like I'm not coping well and I need to keep in together for sake of the 2 kids if nothing else.

If they are in special measures it may be worth trying to find out who is heading up the task force or review team to share your experience as a 'customer', like you would with Ofsted. Its not a complaint but you are contributing to the body of evidence.

Is she likely to go back to the birth family then - thats heartbreaking for you. I'm not sure about adoption specific counsellors - you could try the AUK forums

Most adopters have experienced some of what you have. Sadly too many have had comparable difficulties. This really stood out as particularly bad:

we were effectively threatened that they might start considering other adopters alongside us to adopt the child in our care.

I would have made a complaint to the professional body of whoever said that. It is utterly unacceptable and reinforces the worst (thankfully usually) myths about SWs.

Some random thoughts:

1. Even a child with a higher risk of return to BF has a good chance of remaining with you. Sadly most BPs don't fix their issues. Don't give up.

1. I don't agree with the majority view that complaints don't work. I have used them and they can work. My preference is an informal complaint aimed at a specific outcome. You get one shot at being (very politely) awkward with a view to pushing them towards what you want. It won't move them on something like whether the child is placed but it might (for example) gee along the paperwork for the AO.

Once you fire the official complaint cannon they clam up- but after the order is through I'd be writing to every bugger you've got the energy to.

1. The child's IRO is your friend. Tell him/her what is going on and use the meetings with them to agree specific outcomes. Get direct contact details.

1. Be relentlessly positive with SWs and keep bringing up the child's interest. Agree specific outcomes and chase them like a patient, cheery, fluffy terminator. Check what they say. Do everything in writing.

1. The longer the kid is with you, the better the chances it's permanent. I know the waiting is horrible, but there is a positive to it. Still get that AO application in the moment you can though.

1. The Adoptions UK forums are a good suggestion for support from Ted. Speak to local VAs and ask their advice.

Honestly all the hassle is worth it and the hardship vanishes after a while with the joys and horrors of parenthood. Keep at it, this is all temporary. Vent away on here to your heart's content, we get it.

I feel for you I really do. Foster to adopt can be a roller-coaster. We were told after six weeks we would be able to be matched with our lo and it would move to an adoption placement. It took seven months to get to matching panel. We were told adoption was his only option then at a looked after review I found out a family member wanted to be considered and they already cared for one of his siblings. Social workers either didn't share information or glossed over things. It wasn't until his medical that we got a true picture. If I listed all the things that have annoyed me and caused stress throughout the process I'd be here all day. Only advise I have is vent. Rant to your friends. They may not understand but letting it out helps. It's tough but you have very little control over the situation.

Thank you Don Quixote and Cassie - I really appreciate your responses and you are right that venting about it is helpful.

DQ - unfortunately the person who made the threat about considering other adopters was the IRO - the day after we had raised our concerns with her about SW practice in this case. She also told us that we need to just 'trust to professionals' - we didn't know whether to laugh or cry at that. It's clear that the IRO is very much on the same team as the SW - e.g. she has a pre-meeting with all the SWs before each LAC review and they come into the meeting having clearly agreed their lines. At the last LAC review she literally rolled her eyes when we stated (correct) information about the legal precedent in cases like ours. It is this that has made us cautious about putting any further complaint to the LA itself - it seems to us that they are all in cahoots. We are trying to be relentlessly positive with them and to get as much in writing as possible. It's not easy though not least because the SWs we are dealing with often do not respond to emails and when they do their the writing quality is very poor and they often seem to not really understand the questions we are asking.

Cassie - so sorry to hear that you also found out that the LA had info they hadn't shared with you. So upsetting that they would just mess with people's lives like that. I totally understand that they obligations are to the child not to the prospective adopters - but I also would have thought they would have the basic decency to treat us as humans. Even if you - and we - would still have chosen to take a child, i think that having as full a picture as possible about risks makes it so much easier to handle. And re the long list of things that could be complained about - yes! I could fill pages with all the stuff we have seen - some of it just typical bureaucratic inefficiency but some of it genuinely scary.

Thanks again for listening to my rant.

unfortunately the person who made the threat about considering other adopters was the IRO

Holy crap on a cracker. That's a new one on me. The person whose job it is to independently look after the kid's interest and to challenge the SWs.

Don't consider complaints- your assessment is correct. Batten down the hatches. Get through it. The bureaucracy does generally work and the courts do look after the child's interest.

@Treefern really sorry to hear this. I can only echo others, don't complain. Get through this.

Good luck

I say again guardian ad litum ! They are independant of everything and everyone and represent the childs best interests. What are they saying ? They are the childs voice in the legal process and judges take their views v seriously and will not overule them easily . Get them on board if you can !

I don't think a guardian has been assigned - although I am not sure why that is the case. I will see if I can find out though... Thanks

I didn't think a GaL was automatically assigned. I'd be wary of asking the SW that. You can always phone the court directly to ask questions.

I think there should be one appointed. Ring the courts and ask them the question. According to online legal info there is always one appointed whenever a child goes through care proceedings and as a foster carer that has always been my experience though things may have changed.
If it is straightforward they may not have much involvement but should be aware of the childs case. You have nothing to lose .

Oh I feel for you. I went through F2A last year. On paper it was very low risk, but things changed and relatives came forward and for a short time it looked like things would go a different way. The stress of the uncertainty and being completely devastated at the prospect of losing my baby was awful and something I would not wish on anyone.
I did have a very supportive SW and LA - so I can't imagine how I would have coped if they had been incompetent. Yours sound awful!!

Best advice I was given/took away:

• don't give up hope (that was actually what I decided)
• focus on the child and the day to day (really hard to do)
• try and enjoy the moments with your child

I was offered counseling by my LA - and you probably be entitled to it, but as they seem so awful I don't know if its worth asking.

So sorry you are going through this. Does male you wonder if they are this bad, they must be making mistakes on the other side too! Pretty traumatic for birth families to face this level of incompetence. Recent judgements from the family law review make for scary reading, judges pretty scathing of social workers and indeed cafcass. You are doing a wonderful thing s I really hope
It works out for the best .

@farfallarocks yes I think about this often. We are lucky that we are able to push back and correct mistakes at least to some extent - but there will be plenty of vulnerable children and birth families who are not able to do that. It's really shocking and upsetting. Having said that I don't blame the individual SWs (or at least I try not to). My impression is that the whole organisation is broken, all the good SWs have left and it's really difficult to persuade people to apply to work there - so you end up with a concentration of people with performance/capability issues, being managed/supervised by people who themselves are struggling and everyone is having to do far more work than they can manage because of the vacancy rate. Ughh - it's just a big mess.