Adoption process if on antidepressants or have mother with dementia

[Buffy101]

Hi all I'm at the very early stages of considering adoption. I was just wondering if there's any biases that you think I could encounter.

1. I'm on antidepressants it's been more of a long term thing. I think they personally keep me healthy and my family have long standing problems with depression so genetics aren't in my favour. Just wondering if adopting could be effected?

2. The other issue as well is its my Mom has early onset Alzheimers. Touch wood she isn't showing many active symptoms apart from having difficulty reading and some mild forgetfulness. However I'm worried they will see me as needing to be a carer for my Mom which I'm not. Anyone else have a similar experience?

Thanks
X

@Buffy101 be honest about the medical situation with you, I am sure you would, but whatever is a matter of record like medical consitions you need to just be upfront.

But remember to say how you have overcome things in relation to the depression. It is not unknown for adopters to have had mental health issues and they just want to know you are functioning well and can cope etc, flourish and prioritize a child.

Are you adopting alone?

My mum had dementia and died a couple of years ago. I am trying to remember the order that things happened.

I think we applied to adopt in autumn 2012. My mum was living in a flat at the time but within months of that meeting she had moved into a care home.

My sister and I knew we could not manage to look after her alone in our own homes and a care home was the best option for her.

I think I must have mentioned things to the social worker, if asked, but I genuinely didn't really think it was an issue. It would not have been a feature of my life to have mum in my home to live, it just would not have been safe for her.

I think you do need to be very clear with anyone needing your support, if you are adopting , that you won't be able to keep up a high level of support when you do adopt. I don't mean be cruel or callous but just ensure anyone needing your support knows the child will be your main priority. A new baby can be a massive priority but new babies without attachment issues etc can go to nursery or be cared for friends etc. An adopted child will need you. And not be able to share you easily. I am sure you know this.

Adopted children need a lot of time and energy. We have a birth daughter who was 8 at the time of mum's going into a care home, She could handle visiting a care home etc which our adopted son found much harder when he came to us at 3 or 4.

So I guess I am saying that to some degree I do think you need to compartmentalize things, support for your mum is great, and important, but as you want to adopt you will need to prioritize your new child. As your mum is still relatively well it is, IMHO, important to ensure your mum has support from other places to you.

Feel free to ask me anything.

Good luck.

@italiangreyhound thanks I really appreciate your reply. It's a comfort to know that I won't be discounted because of my circumstances.

My Mom is very pragmatic and has already discussed going into a home when she starts to get more severe. So she wouldn't be living with us.