Adoption-partner already has a child. Any insight please?

[LemonSqueezy0]

Hi everyone,

I've been looking on these boards as we've started to explore the idea of adoption. I understand it can be a long, difficult and beauracratic process... But ultimately it will be worth it. We are aware as we can be that it will be hard and there are a few hoops we need to be able to jump through.. Added to that, one of the bigger factors for me is that my partner has a child from a previous relationship. Has anyone got any insights into how this might impact our application?

The factors I'm considering include that my DSS is with us EOW and 1 overnight in the week. How would this be viewed. My DSS has asked to come more often so my partner is pursuing this through the courts... Which brings me on to my next point...

The relationship with the Ex partner, DSS mother, isn't great, so how might this be viewed? They will ask her for references, and she will relish the opportunity to stick the knife in, unfortunately.

Any advice or guidance very welcome please...

Hey! Same situation here. It didn't go against us at all that DH has another child, in fact at our approval panel they all commented in how well we were already parenting and how well we had prepared DSS for the adoption.

Yes they will ask for a reference BUT the Social workers understand that exes can be bitter. They may also speak to additional referees who KNEW your partner during the relationship with the ex to get another viewpoint.

It really shouldn't hinder your application at all. Good luck!

Purple mac I'm so pleased to hear that, thank you! Obviously not all plain sailing but at least now we can consider it all without overly worrying that it'll be a straight no for the reasons I mentioned.

Hope it all worked out for you

Lemon it has worked out perfectly. DSS is 8 and DS is nearly 2 and the age gap is perfect. They absolutely adore each other!

That's so good to hear!

We have set up appointments with our two local VAA and signed up to a LA event, but that's not until end of November... But from what I can see, being patient is the key to all of this.