MATCHED! Hooray!

[DashOfMagic]

We are matched! With siblings, a 6 yr old and a 1 yr old we’re completely ecstatic. Gone into a manically happy list-writing-super-planning-state!

Please shower me with advice and tales about:

What it will be like doing intros / settling in with an older child.

Intros and homecoming around the Christmas period

Any perils or pleasures of the big age gap

Intros when they are living separately atm

Best intro books/toys for their different ages

Thanks in advance

WELL happy

So many congratulations dash!! Can't talk much about the big age gap, because our two are really close. Ours have been home for a few weeks, all I would say is have no expectations, just go with it (planning where you can, but being flexible too).

Intros are knackering, it's said a lot, because they really are! Being in someone else's house and building up the time you spend with the children will take it out of you, so get lots of sleep before hand and do as much as you can at home before intros start. I imagine if the children are at different FCs it may be even more tiring. Our intros were a week at the FCs house and then they continued at ours. Enjoy it and lots of luck and best wishes!

Congratulations! I have no helpful advice for you as I only saw this from active threads, not browsing the Adoption board, but just wanted to send my best wishes.

I do have a 6 year gap with mine and it worked absolutely brilliantly until the youngest was about three and then they started to fight a lot. Now 11 and 5 and fight everyday but also play imaginatively still daily together too and oldest helps younger with breakfast and reads to her. I think it's a really good age gap.

Congratulations!! Very exciting time for you

Many congratulations. In terms of Christmas, keep it low key, try not to have lots of people around and avoid the usual trail round friends and relatives. If they’ve spent Christmas in foster care ask the foster carers what they usually do and try to copy some of the things the kids will recognise as “Christmassy”. Don’t try to start family traditions this year, let them settle in - Christmas was a very hard time for my two and they were placed in August. There’s so much excitement anyway and your 6 year old mat really struggle with emotional overload.

My two were 4 and 6 when placed so if I can help pop me a pm.

Massive congrats Dash!!!

That age gap will be brilliant - my younger half siblings have the same gap & it gets bigger / smaller at different times in their lives but they are close even though their needs & interests are so different.

No real advice on your other specifics except for enjoy your last bit of time / freedom & do some things for you (not just to prep for the kids) as once they're here you'll be busy forever.

So pleased for you! X

Congratulations!! We have a similar gap with our two, though different scenario as they were placed separately. The key thing I would advise is regular 1 to 1 and 2 to 1 time for both kids. The gap makes that possible because of different bedtimes and the 6yr old being at school after the initial period at home.

I would also say, don't expect the 6yr old to act like 6. Don't expect them to be the big one. If they want a bottle, or to have you put a nappy on them, bundle them up after a bath, just go with it. Take the opportunity to baby them. I think that really helps minimise the inevitable jealousy.

Hi, my little one came home last Nov and I would say I found xmas hard! Everyone expected me to be doing all the usual stuff Santa panto etc but I kept it low key and set some lovely traditions we can continue every year (she was 15 months)
With a 1 year old you could get away with that but a 6 year old will have expectations, i’d say sit down and decide now what you want xmas to be like and what plans you have and make it clear to family that low key means LOW KEY!!!
Arts and crafts and baking and movie watching and hunkering down as a family are much more important than going out to see Santa and panto and all the rest.

Buy some plain stockings and decorate them together (all of you ) 6 year old will need to know they are staying with you and more likely to need reassurance and support.

Such an exciting time but also a really overwhelming time, stock up on calpol, cold and flu stuff and tissues, someone told me that the stress of moving the children causes their immune systems to take a hit so be prepared for a few childhood illnesses to pop up!

Thank you all so much for the good wishes and the fantastic advice. The idea of hunkering down for Christmas is actually quite lovely x