Highs and Lows of F2A

[Wellthatsannoying]

Hi :)
Does anyone want to chat about Foster2Adopt(EPP)? I am currently in the fostering phase with a gorgeous little girl that has been with me since birth.
She is wonderful and we have a great attachment. 99% of the time I feel great and positive but tonight I'm having a wobble worrying how I would feel if she is not adopted by me (I.e. goes back to birth family)
I don't really know any other people in this situation so would love to chat with anyone here!

Have PMed you

Have you any real reason to suspect that she may return? I can tell you I have returned a child under concurrency ( a form of f2a ), early on in the process when I was falling head over heels in love with her I could not imagine how I could ever hand her back if needed. However, by the time I was told that they intended to try rehabilitation home I had already come to terms with the fact that she could well end up home. I had seen BM climb mountains and scale walls to make changes, to grow in confidence at contact and I had developed a pride in her. Yes my heart broke but over a further 2 months period we slowly built up to her going home and when the time came I grieved, and cried but I also had a peace about it. I knew home was where she was meant to be. HOWEVER, I know a lot of f2a carers personally and none of their children ever stood a chance of going to birth family and the situations they came from were dire. The prospect of loosing their children sickens them. I believe this is because they would not be content or at peace with a decision to return the child to BF. Try not to panic unless you have real concerns or reasons to believe that this is a possibility. If it is a real possibility and something that is actively being discussed let me know and we will arrange to private message and I can help you through dealing with some of the feelings, concerns, issues. I am not saying rehabilitating a child is easy, and some cases I know of where rehabilitation occurred were handled very badly by local authority and it was incredibly difficult for the carers, but I believe if handled well and a transition is carefully planned then it becomes a much less daunting prospect. BUT as I said at the beginning if this is not a real possibility then try to put it to the back of your mind. Someone very wise at the beginning of my concurrent planning journey told me “Don’t plan ahead for what you don’t know you will have. Live and enjoy the day or weeks you are in with your little one.” I have made these my life motto ever since.

I would also be interested in hearing about people's experiences with F2A. My husband and I are about 90% sure this is the route we want to go down and are meeting with a social worker next week.

I had a foster to adopt placement. My sons adoption order has now been granted. What your feeling is normal. Its scary loving a little person with uncertainty about the future hanging over you. At one point a birth family member had said she'd like to care for our son. They already had one of his older siblings. It was difficult time. Keeping busy and focusing the present moment rather than worrying about something I couldn't control was how I got through.

I’m currently doing fta with my little one. I’ve had him since 24 hours old. I’m happy to discuss via pm x

@Flower20166 I have pm'd you.