Starting introductions next week with my 10 month old ! Any last minute tips ?

[MarthaG]

Hi, any intro advice would be much appreciated ... x

Be prepared to be exhausted!

It helps if you make every effort to get on with the foster carers. You'll be spending a lot of time together and it's such an unusual situation but just embrace it. We made such an effort with ours and it really made things so much easier.

Everything else is instinct. You already know not to overwhelm them/Go straight in for kisses and cuddles. Just take an interest in them and try to engage them obviously I'm talking baby now, not FC!

In no particular order:

• Buy some ready meals or batch cook. Plan to do nothing for the first two weeks.
• Clean the house. Take a photo. It will never look like that again.
• Have sex one last time.
• If there are any household jobs or repairs that really need doing, do them or they aren't happening.
• Make clear to everyone that they are not to visit until invited.
• Have a long chat with your DH/DW/DP, sort out any residual worries, there won't be much time or energy for nattering in intros.
• More important than stuff like cleaning- have a long hot uninterrupted bath and chill out.

Go really easy on yourselves in that first few weeks. It doesn't need to be perfect, chores don't need doing. Best and hardest week of your life coming up, followed by the best and hardest few years. It's fab.

You already know not to overwhelm them/Go straight in for kisses and cuddles....obviously I'm talking baby now, not FC!

Wise words. I would advise you strongly consider not kissing the FC at all for the first few days.

Do the FC get a casting vote in deciding whether things progress?

In my day job FC=Financial Controller, so I have to switch abbreviations in my head :)

Get the present for the FC and any other children in the house from your LO all ready now, so you're not running around the night before they come home for good. Something like a family board game is a good, neutral option.

Also, have your own nappy bag packed and ready for taking the LO out.

Congratulations 😁

Great advice everyone thank you very much ! I’m a single adopter by have a very good ‘ support network’. It’s suddenly all very real ! I’d thought of a gift for FC a little boy but not sure what’s appropriate to get FC? Will deffo get these sorted at the weekend.

Such an array of emotions this week!
Xx

Hi Martha. Single adopter here too
I've just finished introductions and my 11 month old bundle of joy moved in on Wednesday

I got my F.C. a set of photo frames with a promise we would send pictures to update. I also found a card online which said "thank you for loving me as if I was your own" so I sent that from the baby to the F.C.

My only advice is to embrace the Experience.
Really get to grips with the current routine and keep it the same. Things like soap power brand. Bubble bath make etc etc. Anything that helps them feel settled when they come home.

Sleep as much as you can. These 2 weeks will fly by then suddenly it's full time and you start your journey shattered.

Although I'm only on day 4 of placement it already feels she's home and we are a happy little family. Good luck with everything and congratulations xx

Amazing advice thank you so much ! I’ve found a similar card , got a little prezzie for their little boy and will send flowers to arrive the day after placement to say thanks. FC is extremely lovely.

Congratulations to you too! That’s amazing. Must be something in the air for single adopters and 11 month olds ! I hope my intros go as smoothly as yours sound ! Can’t believe in a week LO will be home for good!

Can I ask how you found the SW visits to your home during intro week? I think that’s what makes me most nervous ?! X

During intro weeks (mine was a fortnight - a week at the F.C. house then a week at my house) the sw just visited day one at the F.C. house then at the midway point which was the first day the baby had been in my home (so the F.C. and her sw also were there.) It was really easy they just spoke to the F.C. really wanting to check how the intros were going and if either of us felt there was anything that we needed to make them aware of. Yours sounds like it going to run a little differently. It's just one week you say?

That’s good to hear , I have visions of bed watched over my every move! Makes me nervous ! Make sense how you put it though , in that they will want to check with F.C. and make sure no worries there. Yeah mine are a week, Half the time at F.C. then half at my house ( taking her back on a night / tea time though) x

Can I ask where you got the card from. I'm on the look out but can't find one that sounds/ looks right. Thanks x

Not sure about others but I personalised one from moon pig x

Hope it’s going well OP!

So far so good ! I’m exhausted but loving every minute - never thought this week would arrive ! X

I would also say, from a practical point, during intros, do you have someone in your support network who can help you with all the backwards and forwards driving/ provide you with meals? Also particularly for final handover day re driving - the final final handover is quite traumatic. Good luck xx

And so glad it's going well xx

Momma
This is the card I got. They are not easy to find are they

https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/612567366/foster-mum-card-foster-parent-like-a-mom?ref=shophomeeactive1

Pleased it's going well xxx

Congratulations! This might be too late to be useful but I brought a notebook to FC's house for intros and jotted down various details about DD's care. It helped because it was impossible to remember things when there was so much going on and it was so intense.

I bought FC bouquet on the day DD was leaving her and followed up with a thank you card with a photo of DD on it.