Will the child feel like its mine and will people see it as we are not real parents?

[AmyJo63]

HI,

We are in the very early stages of discussing if adoption is for us. A major concern for me is that the child will not feel like it is mine and I won't love it like it is.

I am also concerned about people through life, won't see me and my husband as their proper parents and are just full-time babysitters I guess.

When you actually have the child, does this happen or am I being silly?

Thank you

@BangGoesAnotherOne your post is tear jerking your beautiful. How blessed you all are.

*tearjerkingly beautiful

Agree with all of the above. BUT... we don’t know you, we don’t know you and we can’t guarantee how you will feel.

I had no doubts whatsoever that I would love AC as much as BC, had no desire to have another biological child and knew 100% that I would love AC.

In reality I found it very difficult. I had not factored in her rejection of me. Post adoption depression hit me hard and it was very hard to bond with a child who did not want me to be her mum.
It’s been 3 years now and I still struggle at times.

I may be the exception but it was not love at first sight and has been a very slow and complicated bonding process.

Do I regret it? No.

We’ve just had a successful matching panel and just awaiting dates to start intros. Very nervous. Anyone else feel the same?

I also have a birth child and an adopted child, and I love them with the same passionate maternal love. It did take a while, though - with both, but rather longer with my adopted child. I got there though! Just don't expect too much of yourself or your child, and celebrate the small joys, and the love will come.

Other people are often idiots about adoption, but it's always a great comfort to be able to moan about them on here.

@ketzele I really hope I get to the same place as you. Thanks for your inspirational post.

I was adopted and as far as I’m concerned, my adoptive parents ARE my parents and not the person who gave birth to me. My parents are my real parents, there are no other parents, and that’s how I want it to be. My Mum and Dad have never felt that I wasn’t theirs, I am and always will be, nobody will ever change that.