Adoption baby sleep

[Newtothis76]

We have just adopted a gorgeous 7months old. He is fantastic, he goes to bed no problem but at 1am he starts really groaning and thrashing about until he wakes. Same again at 5! At his foster home he would sleep all night undisurbed. Any ideas?

Foster carers perhaps painted a slightly better version than reality.

It could be "sleep regression" - bit early but with all the massive changes it could have triggered it early.

But mine has woken up roughly every couple of hours for 2 years so i'm not the best person to help! I do genuinely sympathise with the shock of sleep deprivation though . If it carries on i strongly urge you to have a nap in the day when he does.

Grief? Mine moaned all night for months. I also think FC used to just ignore at night.

I found babies sleep patterns often change. Could be anything - teething, a cold, a sleep regression, hunger, a change in environment. It'll settle down. Sleep deprivation is tough though! X

His groaning not wet, hungry or pain, almost a sad groan - which makes me sad! Tried best to replicate his environment (same blanket, teddy etc) but guess it’s all a massive change to him!

Maybe he’s is sad because he misses his F.C. As well as all the other losses he’s had in his short life.

Grief. He's lost everything, at least twice. You'd have a moan in the wee small hours, too. Be there for him, it'll pass.

We adopted much older (3) but nighttimes were tricky for a while. Profile said “usually slept through the night” and F.C. has said that to us verbally....yet when we mentioned how tricky nights were, she said that what we were experiencing was normal for her and that certainly wasn’t “sleeping through the night” so I agree with PP that perceptions may be different. Also I think nighttimes are obviously a hard time for a child of any age in a different situation to their “normal” It does and will get better!

Thank you - think everything seems worse at night! He happy during the day and it’s still early days for us!

I don't think you could ever know. I would however respond to LO distress - pick up, settle back to sleep on you. Babies sleep patterns change all the time so try not to over think or worry too much, just give lots of reassurance and cuddles.

Use bedding they come with use same night attire keep everything near too old routine as you can, have a very strong sense of smell , touch sound and light , will take time too adjust will be very unsettled some just settle from day one, will be hit or miss.

Good luck XX

Ahh, my adopted daughter was a similar age when she came - she's now 8.

Looking back, i really lacked confidence when she woke in the night - i feared having me turn up at night, not FC, would unsettle her more and I'd leave her to see if she'd self settle. At night we always used a sleep monitor that played a song, and used the same song at bedtime and put it on if she murmured in the night. She was a good sleeper overall, but looking back (having had no training in attachment and told because of her age adoption wouldn't have affected her at all - hard to believe they said that now) I regret i didn't have more of an attachment style of parenting with her and offer more reassurance at night. There's a fear that being more present in the night will encourage them to wake more in the night, but for all children but especially adopted children, feeling safe and nurtured is the most important.

I'd say if he's waking in the night just go to him. Low arousal, no light on just nightlight, and either lay your hand on his back till he settles back or hold him while he relaxes back to sleep. Let him feel safe in your arms.

Enjoy your little boy xx

We did that last night! Loads better! Was worried about him getting use to us going straight in but I agree I’d rather him feel safe and know we are there! Thank you!

Much more important that he learns he can trust you, day or night.

Sounds like you're doing a fab job. I like co-sleeping to save my sanity, and yet still be there if they're unsettled. I've found twice that far from 'making a rod', it's met a need, maximised sleep, and easily been grown out of as the need lessens.

I wish I'd been cofident enough to co-sleep but was just too nervous. DS slept in with us for 6 months in his cot though then once he moved into his room if he woke we'd bring him into us and have a cuddle. That's just how we've always kept it, he's 3 now and very rarely wakes in the night and I really miss my sleepy nighttime cuddles!

The more reassurance you can give the more he will start to feel safe. Sounds like last night went really well which is great. He's still so tiny, make the most of the cuddles!