Starting out

[WonderWomanWithGin]

Hello!

For some background info, we applied to adopt a few years ago and were sadly refused due to my husband having cystic fibrosis. However, his illness does not impact his day to day life. The panel doctor did not speak to his consultants, nor seek further information.

We were absolutely gutted to receive the rejection but we would like to try again.

To this avail, we are unsure whether to seek out a local authority or an alternative agency. We are also open to adopting from overseas but have no information on how this works either.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

To this avail, we are unsure whether to seek out a local authority or an alternative agency.

If you are having another go I would use a VA and take your time picking one with a very good reputation and experience/focus on adopters who can be harder to match.

I would analyse exactly why the panel turned you down (presumably you have written reasons) and focus on refuting/addressing the concerns. You need a really good PAR written which deals with all the concerns and maximises your positives.

Speaking from no expertise at all, I would guess that their issue would be life expectancy as much as general health/capacity. There may be an issue of perception, in that the life expectancy for CF has increased hugely in recent years, and perhaps people don't realise how treatment is improving. That said it is still a very valid concern for a panel.

If possible I would crack on soon, being younger adopters will help your argument- there are plenty of adopters in their 50s who will face some similar concerns (though obvs not the same).

Best of luck

@WonderWomanWithGin I'd like to wish you all the best.

Can I ask how old you both are and also whether you have had fertility treatment or considered it as an alternative to adoption? You do not need to answer of you do not wish to.

I'm 31 and he's 36. We haven't had or considered fertility treatment for a few reasons really. He would need a very invasive operation which would entail a month or so in hospital and could have a detrimental effect on his health. My ovarian reserves are very low so the chances of success would be very minimal.

I would be tempted to ask your DH's GP/Consultant to write a basic letter up front regarding how the CF impacts his life, and prognosis for the future.
Then you would have it to hand when approaching an agency.

@WonderWomanWithGin this is just an idea so feel free to ignore me! You mentioned overseas adoption, which is very expensive, have you considered IVF treatment using donated embryos? All IVF is expensive so it is not a cheap option. On terms of the child, like with adoption, they would not be biologically related to either of you.

Whether they would explore health in the way adoption agencies do, I don't know.

We have a birth dd thanks to IUI and a son who joined us by adoption.

I'm between we had extensive IUI and IBF with donor eggs. It was not successful. But I thought it was something you might consider. You can check but risks with donor envroys would be non-existent for your dh. Just an idea.

in between