31 year old giving baby up for adoption from hospital.

[NBGAF]

Hello hope this is the right place to talk to anyone who is or has gone through what I am. I am currently 34 weeks pregnant and have been going through adoption for the baby. The reasons behind my decision are I was raped by my ex partner and his friend. I did not know I was pregnant as the baby was under my ribcage I’m health and run a lot so never had periods due to a athlete diet.

I know this is hard for people to hear but I need advice
1 I’m giving this baby up no matter what
2 why do I have to register the birth can anyone do it on my behalf do not want ex knowing as he will kill me and this baby.
3 I wanted this baby to be a gift to a couple who could not have there own children and make them happy (best out of a shit situation) but the social and adoption team are planning to give the baby to a couple who already have children of there own.
4 I know I’m giving up this baby there is lots of advice out there for adopting and fostering but non for anyone in my situation
This is my first and it’s healthy.
5 I never found out the sex or seen/have a picture of the scan but the social want me too why is this?

I just want to add that I am a foster mum of 2 little girls. I have three biological DC also and I can say hand on heart that I love all five children equally. You have given a family a wonderful gift. Be proud of yourself you have been very brave, and take care.

Anxious123 you are so brave an inspiring person what we went through is an emotion that has made us who we are today strong individuals that have made a difference to everyone.
I have asked what first name the foster/adoption parents would like on the birth certificate. This is a like my final thing I need to do for him and then to say thanks.
Before he arrived I was a mixture of emotions now we are on the home straight I feel relaxed and relieved that he will be looked after, safe and above all wanted by a person/couple or family. I am in the final stages of writing him a letter for when he is old enough to read it I was not going too but I feel he will need the reassurance that he was loved by myself and that the details and dision I made was for his and my own good. Trying put it on paper is a different task altogether without making it sound shitty x x again thank you to you all x x

Later life letters (that's what they were called when I did it) are extremely hard to write, well done you for doing that for your little one.

Well done for writing the letter. I expect it is the hardest letter to write but very worthwhile. Look after yourself.

NBGAF so sorry to read your whole story. You are so brave and well done on writing the later life letter.
I have 4 adopted children and those letters can be so important to them...just knowing he was loved by you before his forever family.
I wish you strength to heal now, as you begin to rebuild your life....You have shown such love and courage

Good Luck NBGAF.

This thread is so kind. Such lovely, kind posts.

I really don't have any advice or anything constructive to add but I couldn't just read this thread and not comment.

You, and Anxious123, are both so brave. I wish you all the best for the future