Why are Social Workers/Agency's put off by us? Disabled Adopter

[WilliamsFamily]

Hi there, we are a same sex couple and my other half a wheelchair user. We have started contacting adoption agencys and they seem really positive.....up to a point.

Once we tell them that my other half is a wheelchair user they seem to pluck an excuse out of thin air to put us off continuing, and I'm so very confused. All of the information on the websites states they they are accepting of same sex/disabled adopters but we are finding the reality very different.

We are a little worried to carry on at the moment, we would love to adopt, I come from a very adoption positive family and my other halfs mother spent her childhood in care, we could give a great home to a child and I feel like just because my partners legs don't work as they should, we are being completely disregarded. Do Social Workers do this to most couples over other issues? If this is normal treatment then we will power ahead anyway but if they are likely to turn us down I think we would prefer to know now than after a lot of invasive questions and medicals. Thanks in advance for any replies, we are very new to all of this xx

VAs can be more accepting.

What "excuses" are you being given? Perhaps they're reasons instead?

For different medical reasons we had the same kind of responses - the LA we are currently moving forward with did the medical assessments with us prior to commencing Stage One, you could suggest that to them? Especially if your partner's GP / specialist thinks it's not a barrier for them.

Hope that helps!

Sorry no advice but wishing you well.

I agree that VA can be more open minded and I’d try a few of them too . You don’t have to commit to one agency until you start your assessment.

I’m afraid that SW are very old fashioned ( despite their policy statements ) and it’s taken them a bit longer than the rest of the world to accept single people, same sex couples, unmarried couples, people with disabilities, people with religious faith, couples with a large age difference, overweight people, people with large families, etc

( Honestly the list of their prejudices is long and varied)

However there are lots of us here on the adoption boards and most of us have successfully adopted. Because in fact there are many placing social workers out there who evaluate every family on their own merits. And it may take a little longer to get approved and a match but we get there.

So please feel very welcome here in the MN adoption boards .

What reasons are you being given? Is your OH's condition stable or degenerative?