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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Adoption

Last minute over-whelming panic!!!

10 replies

howmanyusernames · 09/04/2018 16:03

We are due to start intros next Monday, our LO is everything we could have hoped and dreamed for, and more!

The process (as you know) is long, tiring and stressful, and we were matched with LO just 2 weeks after approval panel.

So, why am I now having a mad panic that I won't be able to cope, LO will hate me, I might forget to feed/change LO, I won't be a good Mother????

My OH is having 6 months off work, and I will work an hour or so a day from home, but mostly we will be off together for the 6 months.

I burst into tears last week, 3 days running (the day after matching panel), for no reason, and me and my OH have had silly arguments the last 3 days too - and we never argue!

Please someone tell me this is normal?!

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EightWellies · 09/04/2018 16:59

Totally, totally normal. Be kind to yourselves. We all learned on the job. It will be ok. Breathe.

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BellaCat123 · 09/04/2018 18:00

I think every parent in the world probably feels like this!

Practice self care and know that you CAN do this. The process you have just gone through is designed to test exactly that.

Just a forewarning I was fine until ours arrived and then cried for three nights after putting them to bed thinking we had made a terrible mistake! All of a sudden my life wasn’t my life, my house wasn’t my house and even my hubby was suddenly a father too. Plus it takes time for love and attachment to grow, of course.

It all passed though and you get your heads around your new identities and ways of life and then it’s amazing.

Sending 💐 go easy on yourselves

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UnderTheNameOfSanders · 09/04/2018 19:40

Natural.

As you are both going to be off, make sure you share care and have plenty of 1-1 time so the other gets a break too.
We adopted 2, and from the start we alternated who did which bath & bedtime so that both of us were accepted and it didn't only become me.

Good luck.

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Jellycatspyjamas · 09/04/2018 22:30

So very normal - this is the biggest life change you could make, a few wobbles are to be expected. I’m 8 months in and still feel a bit panicked at times, it’s a huge adjustment but a lovely one.

Best of luck.

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howmanyusernames · 09/04/2018 23:28

Thanks for all the messages!

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youaremyrain · 10/04/2018 20:43

Every parent feels like this, adoptive and birth, it's a massive life change, it's perfectly normal and you'll be fine

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Twogirlsandme · 11/04/2018 12:28

Congratulations. All very normal. X

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donquixotedelamancha · 11/04/2018 22:47

Yep. Entirely sensible response, having kids is terrifying. Congratulations on your child- not long now :-)

I will pour a bit of cold water- you should ask yourself some hard questions and make sure this response is not indicative of some underlying concerns that you might have pushed aside. It may seem terrifying and impossible to delay now, but it's a much bigger step once intros start.

That said, I'm sure it's just normal nerves and you'll be a fab mum.

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howmanyusernames · 12/04/2018 13:45

I've felt much better this week, and as it's getting so close now the 'fear' has been replaced with excitement!

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clairedelalune · 12/04/2018 19:19

You'll be fine!!! I think there would be something wrong with anybody facing imminent parenthood to feel any differently