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Progress with bonding/attachment

2 replies

BangPippleGo · 07/04/2018 07:58

DS(16mo) has been home for 3 months now. Me and him bonded from the very start and the social workers are all confident that there is a very good and healthy attachment (I know it's early days and there's lots still to do but still!). He's less attached to DH but we've been working on it. It's obviously harder with DH being at work but DH does what he can when he is here.

DS is fine with DH when I'm not there - One evening a week when I'm at a sports club DH does his bedtime by himself and there's never a problem. But when I'm there DS only wants me and will cry if DH is trying to give him a cuddle or comfort him when upset if I'm there. I know a lot of this is just normal toddler behaviour too.

But this morning DS came in with us at 5am and slept til 7am and then we were all awake and just playing around. DS likes to give me his dummy and I have to spit it out, so I encouraged him to do it with DH too and DH made a big performance out of it which DS thought was hilarious. Cue DS giving DH spontaneous kisses (something he has only ever done for me - he will kiss other's if they ask him to and if he wants to, but never spontaneously!) and then when DH went to take him downstairs for breakfast and left me in bed, DS went with him willingly and they've now been downstairs for half an hour and there have been no tears!

I am so happy! Little steps but it's still such good progress!

OP posts:
hidinginthenightgarden · 07/04/2018 09:53

That's fab! Nice to see they are bonding.

Headwobble · 08/04/2018 07:28

I remember thinking how well my daughter was bonding at 3months with us. However I look back and realise she just thought we were quite nice people and it was an ok place to live Grin

You will be amazed at how much attachment changes and grows. It sounds like you are in the very promising first stages so well done!

My daughter gave “shallow” hugs for the first 6months. She had lots of fun and was very happy to see us and be with us. However those beautiful, meaningful, lovely hugs didn’t happen until at least a year had gone past. Two years in and she loves snuggling up now. Makes me realise how unattached she was when she first came!

Sounds like it is all going so well for you, congratulations Flowers

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