Post Adoption Support in Health Visiting

[MummyBrie]

Hello everyone 👋🏻

I am completing a survey on the health visiting service with regards to adoption.

A bit of background on me - I adopted my little boy back in 2013 when he was 10 months old. All went smoothly and we settled into our new lives. One month in though and a dark cloud decended. I suffered massive anxiety, panic attacks and my OCD which is usually well controlled became unmanageable. I spent hours upon hours bleaching and tidying and we had to abide by a strict routine or I couldn't cope. When I wasn't doing this I was crying. Eventually my husband told me to go to the GP as I clearly wasn't myself (I don't think he could cope). I went along the next day and got referred immediately to a local counselling service. A few sessions in I was diagnosed with PADS (which id never heard of) and after some CBT and a local PND group the cloud of darkness was lifted and I felt like myself again.

During this time my health visitor was visiting regularly. I'd also been to a few baby clinics so had had contact with 3 separate health visitors. 1 didn't recognise my symptoms at all. 1 could see I was struggling but after arranging a visit for support was soon told she wasn't allowed to as she wasn't my health visitor. The 3rd one and my assigned health visitor had no knowledge of PADs. Did not support me at all. Had the pull your socks up attitude and even said at one point that I was very lucky to have a healthy baby boy. (I know!! Complete ***)

Anyway I came away feeling let down by the service in general. I wrote a letter of complaint/recommendations for improvement. Nothing got done. 4 years on and I've infiltrated the service. I now work within the health visiting service. Where things still haven't changed. Where knowledge of adoption is limited. No training. We don't fit in any boxes. We can't be scored on the PND scoring system as its not classed as a hormonal reaction 🙄

After speaking to other adopters I am clearly not alone. So I'm on a mini mission to see what I can do. I may be successful or I may fail. But I feel I have to try. Raising some awareness can't hurt hey?

Please complete if you have some spare time. It's short and shouldn't take longer than 10 minutes.

www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/VQ7VPFC

Lord, health visitors and adoption. They just don't have a clue. We weren't even on their radar. We called them the 'health receivers' because we had to go and see them, they ever once darkened our door. They once rang me and asked how I was coping. There is no question in the world designed to make you feel like you're not coping (and I was! I really was!).

Anyway. Rant, rant, rant.

I'm sorry you had such a hard time.

What are you planning to do with your survey?

Sorry, that was obviously supposed to be never once darkened our door...

I had a wonderful health visitor who did discuss depression with me after my sons placement. I found her more support than the social workers. I've completed your survey. I hope you can make a positive change to the service.

My survey is stage 1. Then I shall collate the data. It will then go to our lead professionals board for review. I'd like a basic training session (even if it's just annually) for all health visitors.
We also use electronic records that have templates which give us cues on what to ask etc. There isn't one for adoption. I'd like there to be one. So that everyone is asked about their mental health and is supported accordingly.
I think health visitors don't actually know how to treat us so just want the visit over with as quickly as possible.

Still have memories of the health visitor who visited us at home in the early days with our adopted 3 year old and went through the leaflets for new parents with me and asked if I needed the breastfeeding leaflet......

How about the HV who telephoned high-risk birth mum and called her by my full name (that had been kept confidential by courts and SWs) because she got her info muddled, and it only came to light when she next rang me and called me by birth mum's name..? There was a full investigation into that special kind of cock up, not that it could ever give confidentiality back.

I see their safeguarding standards haven't improved - just last Friday a HV rang me "Hello, it's X duty HV here, ringing to discuss the safeguarding referral about [child's full name] after the [description of incident]..." I had to yell over her that she had the wrong number, to stop her telling me any more personal detail about the specific child agh.

Had a truly miserable time with health visitor for birth ds. Had forgotten how bad until i had to see her again with adopted dd. But this time i wasn't shell shocked, hormonal, depressed and overwhelmed. So i could see she was trying to undermine and bully me.
I know that sounds ott. But again this time i had local friends who i now know well enough to really talk to. Turns out quite a few had been made to feel the same. The most chilled out, mild mannered couple i know had had a showdown where the dh escorted her from the house and told her not to return.
It did make me wonder how well new adopted parents are supported.

Mine was bloody fab and a true support in those early weeks. She got us in front of as many people as she could for referrals, identified missing/incorrect medical info in DS records and got us into a very local, very small, very supportive playgroup where I met another adopter who I’m still friends with now. She seemed genuinely concerned about me as well as DS and was keen to learn as much as possible about adoption without being overbearing. She came to LAC reviews and eye rolled with me and sat slack jawed at some of the nonsense the IRO came out with and I can’t tell you how that helped me during those first few months when you can’t tell if you are cracking up from being at the coal face or if the realisation that the ‘professionals’ don’t know best is true!

She was a very calm, down to earth and reassuring lady. I appreciate how lucky I was for our file to land on her desk.

Samantha if you’re out there reading this thank you!

Now if only SS after adoption were as supportive and helpful 🤨

Hi all!

I just thought I would pop back and update you all. Not sure if some of you completed my survey on adoption and health visiting.

Anyway I got published in the journal of health visiting and presented at a local health conference. SO thankyou everyone that did contribute.

I am now working hard at raising awareness and creating a training package so that they are better informed and in a better place to support adoptive families.

Also started a blog
thecoloursofadoption.wordpress.com/

Thanks again!

Well done! Can you give us a link to your publication, or the citation? It sounds like an interesting read.

Unfortunately as it is a journal publication I can send you a link but you can only access it if you are a member.

I can attempt to send some pics of the magazine.

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Oh well done OP.

I loved my HV, she was just so kind when I needed it, though I’m not sure she was actually helpful as such.