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First official meeting!

16 replies

Beanzy1985 · 01/04/2018 16:12

Hi all. I’m brand new here so please bear with me 😊. In just over a weeks time OH and me have our first official S/S meeting and I’m starting to get crazy nervous about all the things they will ask and what we need to do. O/H and I have been together 14 years, TTC for 5 and after a failed IVF and 2 other pregnancies that were cut way too short we have decided to adopt. It was always something we had discussed and now we’ve made the commitment to make it work.

Can anyone talk me through the process? We met with S/S at an open day and got an insight but I know the application process can be quite intense. Any insight would be really appreciated.

We haven’t really put a pin in an age or sex, Mr would like a daughter but we are open to being matched however works best for us and the child.

When/Do they do finance/credit checks? How quickly do they speak to your referees? Do they need to speak to your employer? When did you tell you employer you were planning to adopt?

OP posts:
Cassie9 · 01/04/2018 19:02

Stage one was medicals, references both personal and from work, police checks and a week's training course. They didn't do credit checks. Then if all that's OK it moves to stage two which is the home study. That's a series of informal chats about your life, beliefs, childcare experience, and the children that are adopted. Maybe ask you to list incomings and out goings. They also have a little look around your house. Do a pet survey if you have one. They then compile a report on you which goes to a panel of people and they decide whether or not a approve you as adoptive parents.
Stage one is meant to take two months so they speak to personal skills references within that time frame. Work they didn't speak to but sent a form to fill in. I told my manager as soon as I started she was supportive. Good luck on your journey x

Beanzy1985 · 01/04/2018 19:58

Thank you. I just want this so bad I think I’m overthinking it all. What happens during the let check? We keep tortoises and have 2 skunks. We mentioned this during the previous meeting and they seemed interested and not concerned in the slightest.

OP posts:
Cassie9 · 01/04/2018 20:23

It's just a few questions. They just need to know your animals will be safe around kids. I remember that excitement when you first start the process.

DLouise2004 · 01/04/2018 23:12

Hi @Beanzy1985 - we are at the same stage - just waiting for the registration form and then onto stage 1 - would be great to stay in contact as we are roughly at the same stage! X

Beanzy1985 · 02/04/2018 08:32

@DLouise2004 absolutely!! I just feel like there are so many hurdles to jump over and read some horror stories where they almost seem to find a reason to say no 🙁

OP posts:
DLouise2004 · 02/04/2018 08:35

Yeah I know what you mean @Beanzy1985 - we are a little concerned around the finances bit as we have some debts etc but hoping they see they are manageable! Our social worker seems really nice though! X

Beanzy1985 · 02/04/2018 09:07

I’m the same, it’s only a tiny amount and DH has none and other than that it’s just the mortgage so hoping they will just ask for bank statements for our joint account which shows all our ins and outs. That’s one of the questions I want to ask at the meeting in just over a week. I really hope our social worker is the same lady we met before, she was great and just seemed to get us.

Thanks, @Cassie9

OP posts:
DLouise2004 · 02/04/2018 09:11

And @Beanzy1985 do you have the first meeting at the adoption offices or at home? X

Beanzy1985 · 02/04/2018 09:41

It’s at our local civic centre. It’s by formal invite and there will be a few other prospective parents there with all the social workers as well. At that point we formally say yes, we want to adopt. And then the application process starts.

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DLouise2004 · 02/04/2018 10:02

Ah I see @Beanzy1985 - do I think ours is maybe a different way around - we have done that part but now have to wait for a form to come in the post to formally registered. So similar! X

Beanzy1985 · 02/04/2018 11:02

@DLouise2004 yeah, I think most councils follow a similar pattern by law but are allowed to tweak it to fit their own processes. After our meeting we will get our forms to formally apply, but you can’t do that until you’ve been invited. Kinda a chance to weed out those who aren’t 100% into it. Have you told your employer yet?

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DLouise2004 · 02/04/2018 11:05

@Beanzy1985 my employer kind of knows but I haven't formally said anything. Have you? X

Beanzy1985 · 02/04/2018 12:10

@DLouise2004 not yet. We’ve recently had a restructure at work, and I’ve got a promotion, so it’s a bit weird whilst we wait for the new boss to start as we only have the next level up of management at the moment. I think I’ll wait till I’ve submitted our application and then ask HR for some guidance.

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Italiangreyhound · 02/04/2018 20:47

Hi op our son has been with us almost 4 years so I can'*5 remember the order.

Good uck and please can I ask, pet skunks? I'be never heard of that. Are you in the UK?

Beanzy1985 · 03/04/2018 05:40

Thanks, @Italiangreyhound. It seems like a hell of a long journey but I just hope the reward is there at the end.

Yep, skunks Smile I’m in the UK. There’s quite a few keepers out there. They are just like cats really.

OP posts:
Italiangreyhound · 03/04/2018 08:58


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