Food issues

[user1471555041]

Our daughter who is nearly 2 and Home for 18 months is really struggling with food. She goes to nursery 4 days a week and eats a variety of foods even asking for seconds. At home it’s a different story, she refuses every meal and asks for cereal. I have persisted for months making a variety of interesting meals and snacks but to no avail and now it’s making me stressed and I think she can tell. Just don’t know what to do, is it her being controlling? Surely she must be hungry.

If she's ok at nursery then it may well be about control, rather than sensory issues etc.

I'd find out what she's eating at nursery and offer her the same at home. Maybe let her pick from a choice of "this" or "that" and give her tiny portions explaining she can ask for more if she's still hungry. Decide how long meal time is, give her a running commentary on what you're doing after lunch and how long that'll be "e.g. In 5 minutes we're going to finish lunch and do X", then clear the table without fuss.

Don't offer alternative meals and if she doesn't eat and is still hungry offer fruit or a yoghurt - not treat food, toast or cereal. Always have something at each mealtime that you know she likes.

As hard as it is try not to fuss or stress, just be super matter of fact. My two have different food issues from each other so a standard, consistent approach to meals is helpful for them both.

It's bloody hard though, after all the advice above, I just about force fed my daughter breakfast this morning

If she's eating fine at nursery it may be just a case of being '2'. DS goes through phases. We've learnt to just ride them out and they pass. At the moment all he wants is ketchup and cake. Or ketchup on cake. He doesn't get it obviously, he gets offered his dinner and if he eats it he can have something after. If he doesn't eat it then he doesn't get what he wants. Also, DS never eats much of an afternoon when he's eaten with childminder. He eats loads there so just isn't hungry.

Don't despair, just stay relaxed and give maybe two options of things you could make, not including cereal! I also find more gets eaten if he's allowed to explore snacks and meals before and as they're being made. If he's helped to make it, it'll generally get eaten. A few months back we had a month or so of complete food refusal and crying/tantrums every meal time and in the end we just said that if he hadn't started his food by the time we finished it goes out. It took about three times of following through and he's been fine since and now only really refuses or messes about when he's not actually hungry. They also really don't need much food at this age. I'm always surprise how little the portions need to be so you may feel she's not eating much and should be hungry but we tend to judge by our standards.

Stay calm.....keep meals stress free if possible so it doesn't become a thing.... it will pass.

Thank you Jelly and Buffalo, we made a little bit of progress at tea time she ate quite a lot of chicken casserole distracted by CBeebies. She also hates the high chair so I used the trip trapp chair we recently bought and she seemed more comfortable. Interestingly she is very sensory seeking and has been referred to an OT. Hopefully it’s just a passing phase

Hopefully it’s just a passing phase

I thought that about my 2yo - five years later......

My DD (adopted at 8 months, now 20 months) is going through a phase of being picky at home and my diagnosis is 'almost two years old'. Though it got better when I changed her high chair - she'd just got fed up with the more babyish one with a gazillion straps.