Meg Henderson

[MeeMeeMoo]

She is a journalist who writes a lot about her experience of adoption (she adopted three children). Her latest article is out (if you google her you can see her writing).

I’m curious to know your thoughts really on what she says.

I don’t wish to influence but I’m not her biggest fan and wonder if I’m being too harsh. I’m an adopter by the way.

What are your thoughts on her?

*fatberg not fathers!

No, ‘give it time’ was meant as ‘me and the families I know are all coping for now because the oldest of all the children is 8. If the children I’m talking about are the same in 6 years as they are now, we’ll all be in crisis’.

Obviously, I’m only talking about people I know and obviously I’m not talking about giving up. We’re all doing the best we can to get the best support/outcomes we can.

But I don’t think it’s helpful to minimise problems - I think adopters need to go into it eyes wide open, I think SS need to do a better job when assessing adopters, I think more honesty is required all round to be honest.

For example, I don’t know a single family (IRL) where primary carer is able to work full time. That’s not what I was told during prep and home study.

And yet all the families I know have both parents working near enough full time or part time by chioice not necessity.

I don’t feel anybody on this thread is minimising problems adopters face. We’ve all had the training, my training told me I would never have a normal life. Perhaps I’m just lucky (for now). I can’t live my life fearing the future and the problems we might have, I would go mad. But I will face them if they come.

Either way, going back to my original thread, I believe that Meg Henderson raises some important issues about some people’s experience of adoption. Blaming her children though? Blaming wholly Social services? Writing a thoroughly negative and, quite frankly insulting, article about how all adoptions are doomed? No, her valid points get somewhat lost.

Personally i love her. Shes my grandmother and i love her. I dont blame her for what shes written i completley agree. She should have been told however im so glad she stuck it out.

her points dont get lost at all if you understood you would get it.