its worked very well for us. I'm not going to say how long it took as I had an exceptionally torrid time through approval and his LA dragged their feet so our time really doesnt reflect what most people experience.
I was very clear on his issues, ASD and a learning difficulty. I knew what I was getting into. A few other things have come to light but nothing that's surprising for a child with ASD so hasn't caused too much difficulty.
He had a greater understanding of what was going on, he was ready for a new mummy. His foster family were great but lived rurally. He told his SW that the country was boring and wanted to live in a town with a new mum, and an orange cat called Liam. He got the mum, the town and a black cat called Eddie so he didnt too badly! He has thrived on city life and the opportunities it gives him.
He was able to tell me his worries and fears and we could talk through things in a way you can't do with a younger child. Although he was nearly 8 when he came home he still needed so much nurturing and babying. He was desparate for me to carry him like a baby but he was just too big, didnt stop him climbing all over me to try and force me to carry him, which was very difficult for a long time.
As a single adopter it was helpful that we were able to get out and about, I wasn't tied to a very early bedtime so didn't have to face long evenings stuck in the house on my own.
Its common to have a honeymoon period, followed by a time that they will test you to see if you are going to send them away. Ours lasted 4 months but we hit a very difficult period for the next 6 months. An 8 year meltdown is very different to a toddler. I obviously coudn't pick him up, he would run away, or plonk himself down and refuse to move and then descend into the most heart rending sobs of sheer despair.
No one really expected very much from my boy, he is utterly charming and has a great personality, his FCs loved him, he had great teachers but I think no one thought he would achieve much.
He will be 14 soon. He is an amazing young man. Its been a joy and a privilege to watch him grow and develop. He has moved out of special education and is in a mainstream secondary about to choose his GCSEs. He won't be going off to university, but he will go to college, be employable and live independently. I don't think anyone expected that.
That for me has been the biggest positive and the biggest challenge. Seeing the potential he has and giving him what he needs to fufill it.