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Gift for new adoptive parent and child

13 replies

stillnotjustamummy · 12/01/2018 12:46

My friend is bringing her adoptive daughter, 5yrs, home on Saturday. Is there anything in particular that might be special or anything I should avoid? or am I overthinking it and go for standard things 5 year olds like? I understand she has been through a tough time, so really don't want to get it wrong.

OP posts:
JustHappy3 · 12/01/2018 13:08

That's really lovely you want to mark the occasion.
First i would just check with your friend whether buying a gift is ok. Sometimes kids faced with a massive change might have to have the "new" things in their life kept to a minimum.
I'd be more tempted to get a "new mum" gift for your friend.

Jellycatspyjamas · 12/01/2018 13:48

It's lovely to think of them both, maybe send your friend some flowers and wait for her DD to settle in before buying something. My two are a similar age and brought tonnes of toys with them. We waited to see what they actually played with and got a sense of where they were at developmentally - you might find she's working at a younger age than 5 and needs younger toys.

Monkeybrains2017 · 12/01/2018 13:50

We really appreciated the cards and the fact that people marked the ocassion! For us we appreciated gifts that were given to us at the end of first meetings for us to give to our little one at an appropriate time. He settled well but struggled with “presents” especially things that he perceived were replacing things he already had eg duplo when he had brought some from F.C. For me, the most wonderful presents were things that people may have given us if we had had a baby (eg a beautiful mug with his name on was given to him from a friend which was exactly what I had bought her when she gave birth) meant a lot to me. You could always do a card for now and buy something when you get know her LO. But I’m sure she will appreciate the thought whatever you get.

Braceface · 12/01/2018 13:50

I work with adopted children and agree about not overwhelming them but also think a book is a nice gift and definitely a gift and card for the new parents.

bostonkremekrazy · 12/01/2018 14:43

defo get the parents a card.....its so sad when you bring your child home and no-one bothers....card and flowers yes :)

bostonkremekrazy · 12/01/2018 14:44

oh - and if you can manage it a caserole, or meal to bung in the oven!
you won't know how helpful that is!!!

PoppyStellar · 12/01/2018 15:24

Another yes to the cards and flowers. A friend did the same for me because as she said 'all new mum's get flowers" I thanked her profusely but don't think she'll ever know how much that meant to me - to be treated just like any other new mum

Rainatnight · 12/01/2018 18:55

It's REALLY brilliant if you to mark it, well done you. Our DD was lots younger so I don't have specific advice about that age group but I agree that cards and maybe flowers are really nice.

We got lots of clothes which wasn't massively useful initially as adopted kids are meant to keep wearing their clothes from FC so that things don't feel sensorily (is that a word?) too different.

UnderTheNameOfSanders · 12/01/2018 19:25

Card definitely. You can get adoption ones, but also in the 'births' section you can find cards that work too that don't have pictures of babies or use word baby - e.g. 'New daughter' that kind of thing.

For any presents, agree with go slightly younger rather than older.

Consumables are good, e.g. paint, paper for painting on, playdough.
Or simple craft, nothing needing fine motor skills, definitely go younger than box says so 3-5 not 5-7.
Or sticker books.
And also, not wrapped up, given to parent in a carrier bag. Parent can then put aside or say 'look what XX has brought'.

One of the best (most useful) presents we had was 4 paint pots!

Ted27 · 12/01/2018 19:27

Thats lovely of you to mark the occasion for her.

My friends sent me a bunch of 'its a boy' balloons, he was nearly 8, and he loved them as well.

Its nice just to treated as any other new mum would be.

A few people gave me some very nice posh editions of children's classic books. They are nice to keep throughout childhood, but don't have to be given to the child immediately

UnderTheNameOfSanders · 12/01/2018 19:31

If you have a child, then books that your child liked at a similar age could be nice and personal. You can never have too many books in my opinion!

Athrawes · 12/01/2018 19:44

A welsh love spoon for the parents, which they can explain about later. Sticker books for the child.

stillnotjustamummy · 13/01/2018 19:46

Great. I'd been looking at the birth wall art things on not on the high st, or maybe a fletcher & mills height chart because I love mine. I'll take a family ready meal and a dressing up outfit in a bag! Thanks!

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