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Original poster

What anniversary do you celebrate? And how?

21 replies

Rainatnight · 09/01/2018 13:03

Sorry if this has been done before. I'm interested to know what anniversary you celebrate with your adopted kids. My sense is that the celebration hearing is a big one?

For me, in my gut, I always think the day DD came home for good is the biggie, so I'd like to celebrate that. But then is that ignoring the legal side? I suppose we could have two different days, but don't know if DD would get to a point where she felt there was too much of it?

OP posts:
gabsdot · 09/01/2018 13:08

We celebrate the court date. The day the adoption order was granted.

We adopted from Russia so we actually didn't even see the kids on that day but it's the date on their adoption certs and the day it all became official so it seems like the best day to celebrate.

Zesty213 · 09/01/2018 14:01

Hi. We have our celebration hearing next week! But I think I will always remember (and celebrate) may 19th the most as that's the first day we had him placed, it's a date that seems to me the most significant.😊. But I think it's just probably a personal choice.

TripleB32 · 09/01/2018 15:56

Placement day for us. It's the most significant memorable day for all of us. Adoption order anniversary and to a lesser extent celebration hearing day get a nod from DH and I; but in terms of family wide, it's definitely placement date.

UnderTheNameOfSanders · 09/01/2018 16:25

Moving in day - meal out and certificates of achievements in last year
Court day - family day out if we can, meal out
Only celebrated by the 4 of us, not wider family at all.
Now they are older (DD1 is working!), they will start to drop off I think.

DuncanDonut · 09/01/2018 18:23

Moving in day here! It's the same week as a birthday and our anniversary, and is generally half term, so we do a few nice things, and have a cake. Due to court wranglings our celebration day was well over a year later, and although it was a nice day it didn't feel as significant.

OlennasWimple · 09/01/2018 20:25

DD hates marking anything other than her birthday, so we follow her lead and only do things like a cake then. But DH and I usually note both the day we first met her and the day of the celebration hearing privately, even if it's a quick "gosh, can you believe it's been X years already!" conversation

Hels20 · 09/01/2018 20:28

First day of introductions - ie first day we met DS

RhubarbAndCustards · 09/01/2018 21:41

If DD has her way we would celebrate day we met her, day she moved in and court day. In reality we have cake and candles on move in day. Our court day wasn’t what we hoped - DH had atrocious D&V on the day and SW had cocked up paperwork. I try not to think about that day too much!

fatberg · 09/01/2018 21:47

Start of intros/moving in day. They were a week apart so whichever weekend day around that time we celebrate with day out.

When they’re old enough to care about dates, we’ll tell them both and still celebrate on whichever weekend day suits.

Twogirlsandme · 10/01/2018 08:47

I always mark the first day we met, which for us was the first day of intros.
We are 10 years in and my girls aren't really bothered in all honesty but I always mark it somehow.

FoldedAndUnfoldedAndUnfolding · 10/01/2018 09:28

I haven't adopted yet (approval panel in 2 weeks - eeek!) but I hope you don't mind me sharing my intentions? I'm intending to celebrate the first day I meet my AC, which will presumably be the first day of intros. I have a BC as well, and it's important to me to be able to say that we celebrate the day I met my BC (which happened to be her birthday) and the day I met my AC. Celebrating the day AC came home would feel strange to me because I don't celebrate the day my BC got home from the hospital.

As for the celebration hearing, I'm planning to use that as a "naming day" celebration in the same way I had a naming day for my BC. As I'm not religious, the naming day is kind of a christening replacement - a chance for the family to get together and celebrate the new arrival. I don't mark it as an anniversary though.

Just my two cents!

thomassmuggit · 10/01/2018 11:04

We celebrate birthdays and Christening days already. I don't like the thought of celebrating 'The day you lost everything you've ever known forever!', which is what I think placement day is. Neither the celebration hearing, nor the day the adoption order was granted, felt particularly special.

Birthdays are when you celebrate that you're glad someone exists. But some families celebrate anniversaries more than us, anniversary of first date, moving in together, wedding, baby home from hospital, etc, and we're not that.

Lovebehindthefool · 10/01/2018 21:44

To be honest I have a terrible head for dates. I remember our Celebration hearing was April and no more. I don’t remember the date we first met (could work it out though). I will always remember the date they came home so it makes sense to make it that one I think!

Newhousenewname · 10/01/2018 23:09

We celebrate (lightly, just a day out for us 3) moving in day. Mainly because it’s my birthday so easily remembered! She was my 40th Birthday present... Dh got away with that one quite nicely!
Celebration hearing was a bit rubbish, can’t even remember the date. Court adoption hearing I note the date and comment to Dh (& will to ad when she’s older).

Italiangreyhound · 11/01/2018 09:05

We started celebrating the day he moved on but it soon became apparent he did not like this. Next year I'll remind him but not make a fuss unless he wants to.

We celebrate birthday and Christmas and I sometimes give both kids (birth and adopted) small gift on Valentine's day.

Italiangreyhound · 11/01/2018 09:05

Moved in with us, I mean.

Ted27 · 11/01/2018 11:07

My son likes a party and would celebrate them all if he could. Ist day of intros and moving in day seem most important to him so we always do something for just the two of us when its convenient around the date. Ifs often over Easter so we have had a holiday or weekend away, or special dinner out, maybe a sporting event. Depends whats going on but we always do sonething.

Original poster
Rainatnight · 12/01/2018 18:58

Thanks so much, everyone! There's so much diversity here - lots to think about. And I guess no 'right' way...

OP posts:
Mintylizzy9 · 17/01/2018 22:47

Moving in Day here, usually a fun day out we did a panto this year 😊

Can’t remember celebration hearing date 🤭

Twinky27 · 16/02/2018 20:19

We celebrate moving in day too and last year went to Longleat. We feel thats the day we became a family and our celebration day was nearly 18 months later. For us it usually falls in a half term which helps. We've got three kids and they all still like to know how long they've been with us and get excited as the anniversary approaches.
I guess every family is different though, so go with what works for you.

IAmMumWho · 23/02/2018 11:39

Ours have been with us 7 months at the moment but I'm hoping celebration date will be our significant date.

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