Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Adoption

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Original poster

Christmas as a birth Mum.

15 replies

OurMiracle1106 · 19/12/2017 15:26

Just that. I’m missing my son. I saw a class of kids today singing carols for their parents and all of a sudden it hit home again just how much I am missing out on. Another carol concert I haven’t been a part of. One more school play. One more end of term.

I know it’s the best thing for our son for him to be with his parents but I’m allowed to hurt a bit aren’t i??

I hope all you wonderful amazing adopters and strong birth parents have a wonderful and peaceful Christmas.

Love Miracle.

OP posts:
Italiangreyhound · 19/12/2017 15:38

Miracle I'm so sorry. Xx I saw some kids singing in the supermarket today. It was beautiful.

Would you, one day, consider having another child?

Would volunteering with children be possible?

If course it is right that you feel sad, right on the sense it shows you care.

You've made me think of my son's birth mum. Xxx

I hope you find peace this Christmas.Flowers

gabsdot · 19/12/2017 16:10

DS wanted to look through his adoption papers last night. His birthday is this week and his birth family are on his mind.
His birth mother was 17 and relinquished him the day after he was born, She's hasn't seen him since, 14 years .
It makes me to sad to think of her. Obviously we're delighted to have DS but it's so sad to think of her loss.
Good wishes to you OP at this difficult time of year.

Choccogoingcuckoo · 19/12/2017 16:20

Sending love and strength to you op ❤

PoppyStellar · 19/12/2017 16:47

Wishing you a peaceful Christmas too miracle. I often think of my daughter's BM at this time of year. It must be unimaginably hard for you. Take care of yourself.

Anxious123 · 19/12/2017 18:47

In the same boat Miracle. Am really struggling as I know this is probably the first year he will understand it all.

You are absolutely allowed to hurt.

PoppyStellar · 19/12/2017 19:11

Wishing you all the best too anxious

Mintylizzy9 · 19/12/2017 19:38

Flowers to you both.

I've been thinking about DS's birth mum as well this week. I did ask her via letterbox about her Christmas family traditions that she would like DS to experience and I made sure i incorporated it into our own. I like to think that we're both thinking of him at that moment ( as there is a small window of time when it can be done) and I just hope she knows how very loved and cared for he is.

I can't imagine how much it must hurt x

LateToTheParty · 19/12/2017 20:11

Thinking of you both Miracle and Anxious. Can't imagine how hard it must be for you. Like other adopters, I think of my DCs birth mum (and dad) at Christmas and their birthdays.

Hope the next couple of weeks bring more peace and smiles than you expect, and all the best for the new year Thanks

Italiangreyhound · 19/12/2017 20:13

Anxious huge hugs.

bostonkremekrazy · 19/12/2017 20:57

Miracle if it makes you feel better our AC hasn't for almost 10 year sat in a Christmas play, or sports day or class assembly. School refuse to ban photos and we are a high risk adoption.....AC therefore cannot take part.
This year we agreed to paint our childrens faces, put animal costumes on, and so they took part in minor roles surrounded by other children.
We are very limited in what we can do publicly, we too miss out on another school play, another carol concert, and yes we have our children with us, but adoption means we - and more importantly our children - have missed so much havent they?

and so from an adoptive mum, to a birth mum, you are allowed to hurt a bit yes, just like I am, just like my children our. Adoption hurts us all, but is what ultimately brings this very unique board together.

I wish you peace this Christmas, and may you find solace in knowing you gave your son a future.....

ladymelbourne1926 · 20/12/2017 08:06

I wish you a very peaceful Christmas, of course you are allowed to hurt. It must be unimaginably hard for you.
I always think of my dd s birth Mum this time of year, she was my friend once (very complicated situation) and I wish her nothing but good things. My eldest is 19 and we always take a moment to think of her.

Anxious123 · 20/12/2017 11:22

A customer just asked me if I had kids to spend christmas with. Grrrr. Can someone wake me up when December ends please

Original poster
OurMiracle1106 · 20/12/2017 11:30

italian. I currently work around but not in direct contact with kids. And I would love another but would like to be fully recovered from my recent surgery, so I wouldn’t even think of it until summer.

anxious I know exactly how you feel. There’s still days when I wonder how I’m going to make it through the day and yesterday I had a little cry. Be kind to yourself. Flowers

OP posts:
shhhfastasleep · 20/12/2017 11:31

Thank you for your post , Miracle.

Italiangreyhound · 20/12/2017 20:16

Thinking of you both.

I never ask people if they have kids, it is way too loaded.I have many single friends without kids who find it so hard.

may the future hold good things for you both
Xxxxxx Flowers

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread