finding a family

[bostonkremekrazy]

on again now....just tuned in....

For such a horrible invasion of these children's privacy, these parties seem to have a terrible success rate, don't they?

was it 1 in 3 are placed? I still cant decide how i feel about them....completely undecided

The adoption rate for kids at a baby market activity day would be a hell of a lot less than 1 in 3 by 'normal' means. We got DD1 through one, and I'm very glad.

They are tough, though.

Now televising them, that's a different ball game.

Whatever happened to confidentiality? They teach on prep courses about not in whether telling people DC is adopted as DC should have a choice know etc. The whole country now knows these kids are in the care system. How fair is that?

I haven't watched it and am uncomfortable with the process being televised.

Sorry, I was being really illogical about the success rates. I don't know what they are nationally, but the ones featured in this programme don't seem to have led to any (or one in the first programme?).

I'm so uncomfortable with the invasion of privacy. It's so unfair on these children and any 'awareness raising' value can't possibly justify it.

I hadn't realised that it was a series. I could just about see the argument for one programme to try to bring adopters forward for 'hard to place' kids (though I still don't agree with it), but I can't see any justification for just showing more and more children at these events. I'm so surprised and disappointed in Coram for being involved.

And another thing (while I'm on my soap box!) - two kinds of people of Twitter watching the programme are really pissing me off. The glib 'oh I'd take them all, they're all darlings' kind. Well, you haven't, have you? And the 'oh they shouldn't be allowed to choose, it's not catalogue shopping', from people who have never had to go through matching in their lives.

Grrr.

I think I'm going to stop watching.

I think that if 'sold' to the children as well as possible, then the means justify the end. Obviously they can't go to party after party after party, but to allow the adopters to meet the real children behind the profiles might help people to go out of their comfort zone wrt age, or difficulty.

We were linked directly, but they were considering splitting our DCs up (after 15months in care) due to age of eldest and uncertain development of youngest. They would have stood a good chance of being linked via a party if people actually met them.

We found our first 2 at an 'exchange day'...no children present but giant posters of them, their sw's were 'advertising' them...each table had the poster of the child, profile, photos etc....and a shiny sw 'selling' the child. Our 2 were about to be split up, oldest was getting too old - at 3.5, multiple disabilities for both meant no-one was really interested...hence the huge posters of gorgeous faces
I fell in love - the rest is history....

So glad they did it like that - we were the only ones who put our names down on that piece of paper that day....the other tables seemed busier but I was drawn to those 2 little faces....they came home 3 months later

We found our eldest son's profile at an exchange day. I also think I see the merits of these parties if handled sensitively. I struggle with the fact the privacy of these children is not being protected at these events due to this programme.

some of the children's faces on the programme are blurred out....obviously to make them unidentifiable, and others are obviously being shown - the first4adoption website today is saying of the programme....'are you interested in any of children featured on the programme?' - so are clearly 'advertising' them strongly....
I wonder why some are being blurred....while others aren't? they must have known they were filming the event beforehand - very odd

Was it on again or was it a repeat?

second programme....its a series

Rainatnight each to their own and of course if it is hard to watch best not to. But I think it is great that it is televised. Which of us will ever likely meet those kids or remember them or their names or faces?

The fact it is televised means that approved adopters will potentially get in touch and express interest in children featured on the programme. The success rate is apparently one in four. It was not the children featured in that programme but it doesn't mean other children were not matched.

In fact they may have filmed other children who were matched but not used the footage.

I think (as I said on another thread) approved adopters will open their horizons a bit (I was quite keen to adopt a girl but watching an earlier version of this about 4 or so years ago meant I was more open and we did adopt a boy) .

I also think potentially those who had not considered being adopters, or perhaps foster carers, will be inspired (potentially) to adopt or to foster (long or short term).

All those potentially good outcomes from a documentary.

bostonkremekrazy lovely to hear your story.

"I wonder why some are being blurred....while others aren't? they must have known they were filming the event beforehand - very odd" I don;t think it is odd. Clearly some children would come from situations where knowing which foster carer the child was with would be dangerous for child and foster carer, or perhaps a child was matched and the new parents did not want that child featured in the programme.

I am guessing the ones shown were children where there was no risk, or low risk, and where the decision was made in the best interests of the child.

I watched the for runner of this about 4 years ago and can only remember one child's name and cannot for the life of me remember what any of the kids looked like.

I think most people are not that interested, it is only adopters and those interested in adoption maybe who are watching these programmes.

I think I also had a funny feeling about these activity days when I first heard about them. But I think now that shutting these children away from sight and pretending all is well is not the right approach, if being on this programme changes things for them, it must be worth it.

Much like others I feel somehow uncomfortable with the idea of these days but they have been hugely successful in finding families for harder to place children in our LA.
I do wonder about how these adoptions compare to other adoptions in the long term. I know if I went to one of these days I might have been tempted to take on more than I could actually manage going very much on heart rather than head. Of course sometimes it's the right thing to go with heart rather than head.

We havnt been to our adoption information evening yet (long wait until january) but when me & my partner have spoken about it we have always swayed towards the babies 0-1 but this program has totally changed our view on things.. so if nothing else the program has helped in that aspect as im guessing it will have for allot of other people.
it is so sad that the older children are harder to place & why shouldn't they get their forever family too.
Watching the program i got my hopes up for the little ones that were getting all the interest and to find out it never went any further.. I felt heartbroken for them