Adopting without a spare room

[Littleraincloud]

Does anyone have any anecdotal or personal experience of adopting a toddler before they have a spare room? I will definitely have a spare room in 2 years but now I've decided on adoption it's frustrating ! I literally can't before that due to cost, waiting for another loan to finish! I am not in debt as such, it's from an extension. All local agencies have said wait but another adopter has said go for it! I kept my bio kids in my room until 3

Littleraincloud have you asked adoption agencies?

How many kids do you have and roughly how old are they? Will you be adopting alone?

I have asked and they said I'd have to have the room ready so I suppose what I'm asking is if this is always the case. Married , 2 kids, 5 and 7. I know I should just wait....

You can't adopt without an agency to access and prepare you, so you will have to wait.

Why do you want to adopt?

How will you cope financially with another child?

Where will the spare room come from, when it does come?

You don't need to answer unless you want to.

Assess

Spare room would be a conversion from a playroom to a bedroom. That's the frustrating part - the room is there, me and DH would have that as a bedroom but because it's got what is in effect a posh ladder we can't class it as a bedroom. Money would be a loan but won't have any other loans. I would take 1 year off my part time job (22 how) and return at part time, easily on reduced hours if need be. We are relatively well off, DH works full time. We don't want to ttc

It sounds like all you have to do is move into the play room?

Sorry don't know if that's clear - the room so far is a boarded out , heated , windowed loft conversion. I.e., a suitable bedroom except for one key element : a stair case

We've been told no because it's not a bedroom and if a baby were to sleep in with us ever it has to be a legal bedroom. But then my counter argument is if they see it ok as baby being in with us why do we need it changing now?

Oh ok thought the play room was already a room in use.

There are more adopters than children, or so I am told, especially for babies. Do if you do not have a room for the child, even if you got through the process, you would be in 'competition' with adopters who had a room for the child. So realistically I think your best bet is to either wait it out, or move to a bigger place if you can afford it, or increase your 'family' earning potential to bring the building work forward.

How long have you wanted to adopt?

if its not a 'legal' room then presumably it doesnt comply with building regs? They can't place a child in a house that doesn't comply with regs.

Its not really your decision. You have asked and they said no. Not a lot you can do about that but comply with what they want and if it means waiting two years, then thats what it takes. Lots of people have to wait for various reasons.

You need to put aside now any ideas that this is just like having another birth child. Its nothing like it. What if the child has needs which prevent you from returning to work and you can't afford to finish the house anyway? They will look at your financials and if they think you are overcommitted you will find it hard to get approved on those grounds. They will also want to go into your reasons for wanting to adopt instead of having another birth child.

I thought the OP and her dh were going to stay in the not-legal-room.

I also totally agree with Teds comments.

We are foster carers who wanted to adopt one of our foster children but we had a loft conversion with a staircase which hadnt been signed off by building regs. The child was already living here obviously and our adult son has the attic room.
However we were not able to proceed until the building regs were sorted and it cost a few thousand to make some minor adjustments that made little difference to the room at all . So basically you cannot fight this. Get the building regs done properly or move before proceeding because it will be a brick wall you cant get past. Sorry but that is the reality of it .

Ah thank you for all your replies. I will wait to take it further until we are sorted. I've wanted to do it for a long time - we had problems with fertility before our first and we discussed it then. I've just recently not been able to shake it out of my head

We have a similar set up to flap jack fairy yes . I need to find out more too, a lot more! We've decided it between ourselves and I've got ahead of myself.

Also really good point about not being able to return to work and complete building . Not thought of that!

Don't know if it's every local authority but in ours they will not place a child if the parents bedroom is not on the same floor as the child's. Might be worth checking out too.

Ah That's interesting too - I could easily make it two rooms up there and have my other kids upstairs. Hmmm food for thought. Thank you !