Initial home visit questions

[Number1SonMum]

Hi
Do the sw tell you on the day if you can go ahead to the next stage?
My dh and I have disagreed about what to do with the house before they come. Dh wants it to be authentically how we are eg not put pictures up, got carpets cleaned or got tiling in kitchen done. I have cleaned a lot. Got blinds secured etc. Made it safer for a younger child as bc is now 7.
I am stressed because I think it looks shit.
Bc picked up on my stress and we had a shit 2 weeks and I am wondering how people deal with this. Not telling bc because would really upset him as he wants a sib.

Thanks

SW don’t usually check the house on initial visits. On the off chance that they do, just say that you are doing it up and it would be completed before a child came.

The timescale is really long, usually a couple of years so they are not worried about childproofing at this stage.

Do not tell BC until you have to. The waiting and uncertainly is hard enough for adults, let alone a child.

The process is long and hard so you need to find better ways of dealing with your stress. Seriously. I’m sorry if this upsets you but I’m trying to be helpful and realistic.

Thank you. I think if we were in the process I might feel a bit different but also questioning if it's the right thing for us
Thank you

I agree - actually our house was never picture perfect, it's a comfortable lived in home. Yes it was clean and safe but in vetting degrees of tidyness. It's you they're assessing and your ability to meet the needs of a child placed with you. I'd fix any obvious safety hazards but otherwise live as you are - it's too long a process to get the polish out every time a SW looms on your horizon.

Thank you. They have said it's 4-6 months here?? And you need to be ready but if we got that far which I doubt, we would take a break to sort out some of the house

It can't possibly be 4-6 months until a child is placed with you. Stage 2 is meant to be 6 months, I think. And then matching is as long as a piece of string. You have time.

On our first home visit, SW wanted to see number of bedrooms and back garden. We explained the various things we were going to do to the house some of which remain undone

And I agree with Kristina. You're going to face worse in this process - you'll need a better way to process it.

We had our prep course in November, approved in March. Matched in April. Introduction in July.

Could have been quicker between April and July but we were waiting for a second panel slot.

Agree with everyone.

However, our social worker did do a brief look round on the initial visit. I was glad I had cleaned. Our birth child (dd) was also 7 when we started the process.

I would make the place clean, tidy and safe but not overly obsessively clean.

're " They have said it's 4-6 months here?? " probably they mean the first stage.

're "And you need to be ready but if we got that far which I doubt, we would take a break to sort out some of the house".

I would also factor in all the things you actually need to do before little one comes because when you get to the end of the process you will not want to stop for building work or whatever.

What I'd it you actually need to do?

Hi thank you. The bathroom all works but is grotty and half done e.g. one wall painted. Broken tiles in another wall from where a broken shower was removed. So new bathroom mainly because would be hard to do with small child.
Kitchen get it tiled.
Lounge remove painted over wall paper which half done and paint. Put in wood burner and take out filled in chimney but that's a pipe dream and not needed.

I'd get the broken tiles sorted first and just get it all done at reasonable pace.

Good luck.

Thank you. Do they give you feedback at the home visit?

Ours made sort of positive noises.

I think I would paint all the necessary walls in the bathroom and make sure tiles are fixed but I agree with above posters - you don’t need to be obsessive. If they do look round house and tiles are broken - they may question for how long? I think they want to see a clean, safe, in good(ish) condition but not tidy. The state of your house will be mentioned in your PAR.

I cleaned and tidied our house for the initial visit, and also a couple of times when we were allocated our SW.

We're now almost at the end of an 8 week loft conversion, our house is covered in dust and dirt, I don't clean like I did at the beginning and our SW doesn't care. He saw it before, and knows we're doing the loft so we have more space for a child.
We will hopefully go to panel on the 7th Feb, and he will probably pop in before that, so will be able to see things 'back to normal', and by then our child's room will be empty and ready for them! ☺

I also agree with others on the stress side, you will need to find ways to deal with it as this process isn't easy, it's very frustrating at times, and also very long.

We had our main health and safety report done in our initial visit. It was the one they used for foster carers and involved looking inside all kitchen cupboards, Checking where we kept cleaning chemicals, etc.
Our place is newly renovated so very show home esque and they still found things to change, eg. Nursery Fire Guard.
Then in our panel our “excessive tidiness”was queried and I told them having a too tidy house was not reason enough to not give us a child
Fortunately they all laughed

We are currently in between stages 1 and 2. We're taking a little break before starting stage 2 because we are having a load of building work done, front and back of the house. The poor social workers have had to manoeuvre through scaffolding and the mudbath that is our front garden on every visit so far! But they can see what we are aiming for, and as long as it's ready before we are approved, they are happy to crack on with the process.

So by all means have a tidy round for the initial visit, it will make you feel better. But please be assured that the social workers will just want to know that you have a room available for a child and that you are aware of things that need doing before a child arrives.