Social worker-not so nice!!

[mykidzrmyworld]

Am in the process of going through step-parent adoption with my dh and at first I thought the social worker was great! BUT since she met my dreaded X she has completely changed. Its like her personal opinions have taken over. AT the end of the day I know the truth and what a monster of a person my X was but she always sticks up for his side and has become quite rude. When ever she leaves the house I always get really upset and feel like im being judged and looked down upon. I said to my dh if it wasnt for the fact that the X has signed the adoption forms and its all preety much in full swing i would ask to change social workers.
Has anyone else had bad experiences with social workers?

sorry that your having problems with your sw.

our sw is okay, but when I first met her I took a dislike to her, not with the questions she asked, but the way she asked them, but I just had to keep on focusing on the job and tried not to take it personally.

Hope it moves quickly for you.

I have heard horrendous stories about sw's, though mine was fine. Aquaintances of mine have just given up on their home study after sw accused he DH of being gay (on what basis we're not quite sure) and was negative about pretty much everything they said.

Just smile nicely and grit your teeth and stick to the facts - you don't have to like her. You have to treat it like a job interview and put your best foot forward. Good luck.

Reminds me of some friends of ours years ago being assessed as adopters.

Very old school social worker not comfortable with personal questions in the right job then, no.

She asked them "whats life like upstairs" a euphamism for hows your sex lfe!!!

My friend, also very nervous but not realising the true meaning of the question answers

"Its not bad at the moment but it will be wonderful once DH gets the extension put on".

a littel like the visit I had for my annual reapproval after panel but before matching... I must find the thread on it (save me retyping it!)

Yes would agree you don't have to like her but I'm sure life would be easier if you did. As you say you are probably too far in now but people do ask to change social workers. I think it's pretty much an accepted thing to do but probably causes a delay whilst you wait for another to be appointed.
Have though heard similar stories from others whose previous partners have had to be involved in the process.........

Never ever trust a SW. I had one thought she was ok at the beginning. Turned out I was very very wrong. They can put their own slant on what you say. In my experience they also do not tell the truth. I was told two children I was going through the process of adopting were being taken to see their sisters (had two older sisters who lived quite a way from me and this was a normal activity every few months), I thought nothing of it. Chatted to the two children over the weekend, as normal, but by Monday my world ended. SW, when took children, knew they were not coming back to me. Be very careful.

thats horrific JBW

I find from 5 years experience, play the game. they have bad days and are often disgruntled in their jobs. Very often its not just their say, try not to bite, keep focused. They will interpret anything as "unhinged".Try and pre empt what might have been a problem with your ex and sneak your version in.Dont give up.

I work for SS (for my sins, if it helps Im not a sw)
You are within your rights to ask for a new SW and it should not hold up case at all. Might be worth sticking it out and then putting in complaint once all finished. I work with some really terrible SWorkers and some wonderful one and sometimes have to question their judgments.
JBW I think that is terrible and seriously would have gone mad at SW!! am shocked!

dont put in a complaint until you are sure you will never have to deal with them again ie after the adoption order is granted on your last child

I know someone who complained , it was found in their favour but SS victimised them becuase of it and blocked them adopting another child