Blogging

[anxious123]

Hi All

I've been approached by a local group to do a blog post of my story from a mental health point of view.

To tell an honest story and to do it justice I do need to discuss my birth son's adoption and the circumstances that led me to that decision. I'm just not sure it feels right so I'm asking you as adoptive parents your thoughts.

A few very strict rules I've already got if I do go ahead are

• I won't be named.
• Years and dates won't be specific "in my 20s" etc so as not to risk outing LO or myself
• my birth son certainly won't be named or identified

Is it right to do this and maybe help people talk about mental health, adoption, birth children etc or is it unfair?

I don't have any contact with SS other than letterbox so can't really approach them about it.

Will you be able to cope if it's commented on by people who aren't particularly understanding or sympathetic? Or who are downright nasty?

Most people read these things then carry on with their days. Others will read them and be obnoxious for the hell of it. Unless you write a spectacular piece, it's unlikely to change many minds or start many dialogues.

If you're okay with all of that, then I don't see a problem (making sure no-one can be identified of course). If any of it gives you pause, then maybe don't.

Unfair to who? If it’s sufficiently anonymised it won’t identify you, your son or his adoptive parents. It’s your story too. I say that as an adoptive parent who has recently, & sort of by chance, had to have close dealings with several different people who have had their children removed and for whom the plan could well be adoption. They have opened up about their situations and as hard as it is, it seems to have helped them a bit by being able to share. Sorry if that’s vague, I’m trying not to make it too identifying myself!

Agree with fatberg that it could be hard to see negative comments about something so personal.

Maybe do a first draft and see how you feel about what you’ve written, and how it feels to see it committed to paper or screen, before getting anyone else to review it or submitting it to the blog.

There’s no right or wrong decision here, it’s what feels best to you. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Who are the group who have asked you? Or I suppose more pertinent, who are their readers? I think this makes quite a big difference.

Not withstanding PPs about coping with any negative responses, I think It could be quite healing for you & for anyone who is effected by these issues in their own lives - adoptees, adopters, birth parents etc.

Their readers are essentially people looking for support/shared experiences