School

[Alljamissweet]

We are 5 years in with our 6 year old.
Not sure I'd this is an adoption problem.
LO's doing really well in many areas. Definitely not academic but happy to go and happy to stay at school.
Well, today I heard 3rd hand that lo and their table are being sent out to work away from the classroom as they all become distracted and do no work!
I approached the teacher and asked why I wasn't told, his response was I don't have to tell you everything that happens in the classroom but surely, if my child isn't/can't/won't do his work I need to know??
The class TA has been marking lo's work with spelling mistakes and been leaving comments in his book like 'heavily assisted' and 'poor concentration' and no positives.
I suffer terribly with tears of emotion and find it really hard to speak to the teachers. How can I deal with this and the emotional state I get myself in? TIA

"The class TA has been marking lo's work with spelling mistakes and been leaving comments in his book like 'heavily assisted' and 'poor concentration' and no positives."

That is not marking. It is absolutely not appropriate.

The teacher certainly can't tell you EVERYTHING that happens but if your child has behavioural/concentration problems, then speaking to you should be one of the first strategies used.

Some small group work with a TA is fine, but it depends how much and with what goal. Marking is fine if the TA is appropriately trained- clearly not in this case.

"How can I deal with this and the emotional state I get myself in?"

I find visualising all the ways the discussion might go helpful. You could perhaps go in with some written notes. Book an appointment with the head, take in the examples of marking that concern you. If you go in positively I'm sure the head will understand you being concerned. Nail down how much time is being spent out of class.

Its not an adoption issue, though sometimes just having other parents who understand adoption helps. I might be tempted to repost on education if the head isn't helpful or you feel you need more specialist advice.

Make an appointment with the SENCO at your school and check that your child's teacher has had appropriate training for post looked after children. There has been a recent act that requires this to be implemented this year. You have to accept your role in asking for information but also to push that an appropriate plan is in place.

It may also be the case that your child is distracted and they may benefit from a quiet environment outside the classroom but you should be engaged in that discussion

I don't have adopted dc but have a birth dd with similar.

I think ask to see head and sending is best advice. Distraction/concentration etc are needs they can and should be assisting with.

I think you should go in with an agenda written down and suggest:

1. What is happening at school - full issues to be clarified please
2. What strategies do they plan to use to help dc concentrate
3. Targets to be set for dc for this half term for better concentration and

4 meeting before Xmas to discuss what progress is being made

I would take with you some info about how former LAC can need extra help at school and often younger for age.

I would also think about what you think would help dc concentrate and what helps at home - moving tables/sit next to a child who works better on same table/more support from TA or teacher at the table to work steadily?

Sorry I meant senco not sending!

Hi, Do the school know your child is adopted? If so they should be receiving Pupil Premium Plus, which is £1900 per year. You could ask how they are using this to help your child with the problems which seem to be arising. I don't know how much you know about PP+ but there's a wealth of info available from any adoption website.

It may or may not be an "adoption issue", but in your shoes I would want a chat to make sure they have considered the adoption and attachment related impacts of their strategies, i.e.:

• are they making sure their approach is not isolating or shaming (so ensuring they are not triggering dysregulated feelings)?
• are they organising the classroom so that your DS is seated in way that helps him concentrate (if he is hypervigilant, it's not sensible to seat him with his back to a door for example)?
• why is the whole table distracted? what are the triggers? what are they doing to manage these so that the table is able to participate in the main classroom activities again?
• are they giving extra support and repetition to help DS understand instructions (if distracted due to not feeling secure in environment)? As PP said, how are they directing the Pupil Premium money to help this, in terms of extra tools or resources?
• have they understood that the transition to a different space outside the classroom could be so overwhelming for your DS that he won't be able to concentrate on anything else? (There are things that can be done to help him manage this, such as preparing him, giving him a chance to explore the space at a different time, etc)

I would be really unhappy with the comments from the TA, and would be taking the comments with you into the meeting and asking how they expect these to encourage or incentivise any child? Positive and constructive comments only from now on, and if they need to raise a concern or report something less positive, they need to do that by email or written note so your DS isn't conscious of it.

I find the best way to keep myself calm and firm during meetings like this is to pretend I'm doing it for another family - I can advocate for other people no problem, it's just harder to stay objective when it's my own!

Strongly agree with the point above about pupil premium. How is the school using it to support your DD?

Sorry, or DS, I've just seen you didn't specify.

I agree with the other comments, and I think that the words and actions of both the teacher and the TA here really do indicate a lack of experience on their part. Is that right? An experienced teacher would have handled the conversation with you completely differently, ime.

Is it possible to really push to get a really experienced and motivated TA to do the reading and the work with your dc? Maybe use the funding for that? I have heard teachers say that using a TA does not usually help the child because the TA has no teaching qualification and they sort of do the work for the child rather than help them learn, often, but some TAs are NQ teachers/experienced/motivated.

It worries me a bit that you have already been decided that your dc is not academic. I think it would be much too early to decide that, and the sort of input he gets now will impact on his future hugely. Is it feasible to do maths and english reading and writing work with your dc at home to help build their skills? That might help with concentration and confidence at school. You would get lots of ideas for materials to use from Primary Ed.

I hate to even wonder this, but is he essentially on the naughty table, and his table are going to be left to waste their own time out of sight and earshot?!

It sounds like you do need to do some digging around and push for changes. I am sure you can!

Thank you, I really appreciate your responses and will brace myself for Monday!
I do feel that lo has been placed on the naughty table.
3 of them were involved in a physical assault against LO last year so that could be his distraction. The TA is a wasp! Frankly rude. LO is not naughty! Easily distracted yes!
To give you a little background, Lo managed to pass his yr 1 phonics screening, and with a lot of support from me increased from the pink to the purple ORT reading levels in the last 6 months of Yr 1 (I think that's 7 levels). So lo can learn. Definitely struggles with maths but we try to plug the gaps at home using books and online resources.
At my request, lo has 2, 15 minute interventions a week with a lovely TA. I reckon that amounts to about £250 of his PP+ funding.
Lo is neither compliant or defiant but a little sweetie who loves school.
Thank you again. I am determined to advocate for lo and get LO what they deserve, a first class education. I will try to stay strong.