Feeling lost - introductions

[Puffedsleevedress]

I'm midway through introductions and am having a really tough time. Some new information has come to light about the BM and I'm struggling to come to terms with the impact of this. I'm starting to think that I don't want to go through with this as I don't know that I can deal with the uncertainty. Has anyone else been through anything similar?

Can you explain briefly what kind of issue it is or would it be too identifying?
How did you feel before this information came out? How are you getting on with the little one? Is there someone you could talk to about your concerns?

You need to talk to someone , don't just ignore your feelings and hope everything will be ok. I know this is really REALLY hard but it will be worse in a week or month , if you feel that this news is deal breaking.

Have you discussed this with your own social worker ? You need to phone her today and do so. If she's not in leave a message saying it's urgent .

How old is the child? Do you want to slow down or pause introductions to give yourself some space to deal with this information ?

Can you say more here without breaching confidentiality ? Do you have a close friend or family member you can confide in?

What Kr1s said - the intensity of intros is huge, and you can't possibly also process significant new information at the same time. Get on to your SW asap and ask for a meeting and a pause in intros. It doesn't have to be all abandoned, but you need a chance to process the information and find out anything else related to it, without trying to follow an intros schedule at the same time. Hugs.

Intros in and of themselves can leave you feeling like you've made the wrong choice never mind having new information to process. Try to get some space - slow down or stop intros while you work out what the new information means to you. It may be something or nothing but you need some headspace to figure it out.

Just to echo what PPs say:

It really would be helpful to have a general idea of the concern- you don't need to share any details.

Intros are incredibly intense. You don't want to rush into rash decisions and you need to build in some space to reflect. If this is new info I don't see that a day or two pause is an unreasonable request.

I don't want to add to your worries, but feel obliged to caution that disruption should be only done if it really won't work and would make it harder to adopt in future. If it really won't work then be very clear with the SWs about why and document what went wrong.