I have a question, I hope no one minds me asking.

[righthisone]

Hello all,

I am hopefully going to adopt child in the future, still quite a few more years before I even think about beginning proceedings, but for personal reasons I would like to adopt some day.

My question revolves around the movie, "Saving Isaaiah." I don't know if you have seen it, but the premise is this: A young, drug/alcohol addicted mother leaves her newborn son on the street, intending to come back for him. He gets found, fostered and his foster family then wish to adopt him. The adoption order waits to go through, when the biological mother realised her son is still alive. Court battle ensues between biological mum and prospective adoptive mother, custody is awarded to biological mum.

Not only did I find the movie unsettling, but it has had me questioning what would actually happen in a real case like this? The movie was based on a real story.

All I can think is that if a child has spent their whole life with their adoptive family, this is their real family and surely they wouldn't be taken from the only family they know to be placed with their unknown biological family?

I have tried looking this up online, but have found nothing concrete. Can anyone with a bit more knowledge point me in the direction of cases like this or tell me what the protocol is if mistakes are made with adoption? Although I'm guessing it is very rare.

I'm also sorry if this question is inappropriate. Adoption is very close to my heart and like I said, the movie has unsettled me. I know the child in the movie did not have a complete adoption order, but it's still unsettling to me for personal reasons. I will also admit I get very involved in movies/books and they often affect me a lot, especially if I can relate my own life to the movie/book.

Thank you.

In real life SS would do anything they could to find the family before the child was put forward for adoption. Just like the appeal that has gone on very recently for a baby who was found in a bus station.
If it failed (or even if she came forward) then I would think, considering the mum left her newborn unattended she would have a hard time persuading SS that she was fit to care for the baby.

It is practically unheard of for anyone challenging the granting of an adoption order (to make the adoption fully legal ) to be successfull . In the v rare cases it is down to failings in the social care handling of the case or a legal failing which are incredibly rare and adoption orders once granted are irreversible once the time allowed for appeals has passed which is 21 days i think !
So really it is not going to happen to you if you adopt in the uk. Was it an american film?

Whilst the case from this movie is probably American and based on a very different type of adoption than you would be coming across in the U.K. First and foremost in the uk adoption is no longer the relinquished child who needs a family. Those cases are very rare. Adoption is adopting children who have been removed from families usually against their families desires because they are not capable to caring for them adequately. The children are likely to have suffered a lot of neglect/abuse or previous siblings will have. Social services will have done everything to ensure that the family are given all the chances to make the necessary changes to their lives to allow them to be reunified home. If this is not possible a court will decide to look to an extended family member who could care for them and if that is not possible they will remove the parental responsibility from the birth family and place them for adoption. It is true that before the adoption order is granted this can be reversed but it would be extreme circumstances and very rare. The work to ensure that the best interest of the child is adoption will have already been thoroughly investigated before a placement order is granted which allows a child to be placed with an adoptive family.

The case from the movie is very extreme. The courts will always say that if birth family care is good enough and appropriate then it is in the best interest of the child to grow up in the birth family were possible. However as in the case in the movie if the child was of a significant age a court would have to consider the effect of such a move on the child and there is a strong chance in uk that they would uphold the adoption order e.g a five year or older child. I would be surprised if they uprooted a child who had been in the one family from birth at that age to return to a mother they had never known. The child's best interest is paramount. I don't know of any protocol or similar cases to direct you too.

I would stress though if you are considering adoption at some point in the future in the UK start reading around now on current adoption practice. Exploring the types of children that need adopting. Even if you are not ready to adopt now attend a few information evenings in your local authority to begin to see what adoption looks like in the UK. If may not be what you perceived and may not be for you. Better to know now. It is not giving a lovely abandoned or unwanted baby a lovely home. It is often giving a very difficult child who has experienced much neglect abuse a home. It can be hard, it can be difficult, it can be lonely. Yes it is rewarding and and very fulfilling but those moments can often be smothered among the many hours of tears and difficulties. That said adoption is most definitely for me and made me a very different person. I urge many to consider it but your decision needs to be informed. Hope this helps.

Something a bit like this happened in Ireland around 10 years ago. Google the baby Anne case.
The outcome was that the 2 year old was taken away from her prospective adoptive parents which she had lived with since she was 3 months old and returned to her birth parents. They changed their minds about the adoption and got married.
In this case the law was a total ass. The babies best interests were not upheld IMO.

It's an American movie. I think Halle Berry was in it. It's very good but sad.

It's very rare for babies to be placed with prospective adopters and then returned. It does happen very, very rarely.

Are you in the UK, OP? As said above babies are so very rarely relinquished in the UK.

But it's also possible for all kinds of things to go wrong or badly in patenting generally do you cannot allow for every eventuality.

I am in the UK and the movie is American. Also, thank you for all the replies.

I'm glad to know cases like this are rare and have looked up the Baby Anne case, which was very, very sad and must have been utterly awful for the child.

As for adopting, it is something I am thinking about in quite a few years, however I am doing my best to research as fully as possible. I am already aware of attachment issues/disorders, how difficult it can be for children, etc... and the amount of hard work involved in being an adoptive parent. My friend was adopted aged four and having seen how her childhood was changed for the better- although with a lot of troubles which were worked through slowly- was what first got me to want to adopt. And there are other reasons- such as wanting to give a child in the system a permanent, more stable home.

The only thing I do worry about is if it is unusual to adopt if you can have biological children? I want to adopt specifically for the reason of having an adopted child... I'm not sure how to explain that.

And again, I will emphasise that this is in the future and not something I am doing right now, so if I do seem to have misconceptions, etc, around adoption I am sure I will sort this out the more research, etc... I do.

"The only thing I do worry about is if it is unusual to adopt if you can have biological children?"

It's quite common, but usually (I think) because secondary infertility is common. I have a birth child and an adopted child.

"I want to adopt specifically for the reason of having an adopted child... I'm not sure how to explain that." You will be questioned about that by social workers. They will want to know why you don't just have another child biologically if you can. I think social services can be suspicious if they do not understand your motives.