Any positive stories please?

[HazelBite]

Ds and Ddil are a couple of weeks on of having 2 dc's placed with them, they are both there all day in the hope that the two dc's will settle.
I feel so helpless only on the other end of a phone, hearing them both sounding so distraught at the violence that the 6yo is displaying towards them and the threats of violence being made towards their pets.
The SW has been visiting each day!
Please give me some positive stories, at the moment it all seems so bleak, and my heart is aching for them they have been through so much to get this far, I need to hear that there is hope!
TIA

Hi Hazel, my sibling and I were adopted when we were 3 and 4, it was very tough for a long time. However we settled eventually and I'm now in my late twenties and would consider our adoption a great success. My parents were firm with us, but showed great love and compassion as we'd come from a troubled background. We needed the structure and strictness almost. Hope it works out for hog you all xx

What ages are they? We're about 6 weeks in with 2 DCs aged 4 and 6 - I can honestly say it's been the hardest thing I've done. The kids have been so unsettled and challenging in ways I couldn't expect. I didn't realise just how hard it's been until a good friend said listening to me each night made her realise I was way more patient and resourceful than she ever realised and she thought was I was dealing with was hellishly hard. All the while I've been convinced I'm getting it wrong all along.

It's been incredibly hard going but I do see the kids starting to settle and I feel more confident too. I don't think anyone can prepare you for what it's like to take two scared children and try to care for them when you're not sure you even like them, much less love them. The thing that saved me was getting regular breaks - even if it was my DH taking them for half an hour so I could go for a walk. That and being able to vent when need be. I have to say I'm also taking professional advice with a huge lunch of salt - I want to build a strong relationship with my children and have been given some very odd advice along the way.

Hang in there - it will get better.

I think you have to remember that these are two terrified babies who have had everything taken away from them, it will take longer than 2 weeks to settle. This is a tough time for everyone, the new parents are knocked for six, everyone is exhausted. But the children had no choice are in a state of high stress and anxiety.

You are doing a lot by being on the end of the phone, are you able to do some practical things like taking meals, doing washing, maybe even taking the pets for a while.

Does it get better? There are no guarantees in adoption, its a hard road even when its going well. But plenty of us do have good outcomes. I am six years down the line with my now 13 year old. I'd like to pretend the first year didnt happen but we came through. We have our challenges but have built a good life together.