About to adopt

[MummyJ2]

Hi all!
We are due to go to panel later this month to get approved to adopt.. we already have 2 birth children.. does anyone have any experience of adopting with children already in the home? Our boys seem genuinely excited about the potential new sibling!

Hi, there's a whole section of the Adoption UK forum designated for adopters with birth children, which you may find helpful.
Our experience is that in the 4 years between applying for Stage 1 and our AC being placed, our BC went through a rollercoaster of emotions, many of which she could have been spared had we been allowed to wait to tell her about our plans.
BC often find it very difficult when their new sibling arrives, despite thorough preparation.
I know I sound negative, it's just that whatever we as the parents plan for and decide, the BC will be affected and you do sometimes question whether you should have allowed that to happen to them.
Also, being an internet forum, you won't hear as many of the plain-sailing, it was marvellous stories on here.

Is there any specific reason to adopt new child while already having 2? Adoption is a good thing. It's pretty to give home to someone. Make him/her your family part. But when you already have children then it may cause some problems. Are you children really happy for the adopted child? Are you sure that they will be like real siblings? Because in most cases, children didn't accept adopted child as her family member when they grew up. With the passage of time, many issues create between siblings. As the time passes, adopted child going to ignore. This break his/her personality. If you couldn't give her/his proper attention, they may lose confidence. It's really tuff job to look after a adopted child when you already have your own children. There is always chance of new siblings, Which may dominate the adopted child.

Rebecca its a bit late for that advice, they are about to be approved so have probably been through it with SW in depth already.

OP We brought DD just before DS turned 4. He has never once said "DD is my adopted sister", she is just his "sister" it surprised me how well he took to her and he genuinely loves her. They have a very normal sibling relationship, they play, they fight, he is protective one breath and pushes her over in the next.
It was hard to make time for both of them one 2 one without DS feeling left out. He initially got upset if we cuddled her so we always invite him to join any cuddles. We made sure DD goes to bed half an hour earlier than DS so he could have some quality time every night even if just 10 mins. Any toys DS didn't want to share he put in his room out of reach.
For someone who was an only child for almost 4 years he has done remarkably well in the last 12 months.