DH not sure about adoption

[Poppyred85]

We have bc aged 4 and have quite recently lost our 2nd pregnancy and will not be able to try for another. We looked briefly at adoption prior to this and both felt we wanted to try for another biological child. Since we have found out we can't I have been looking into and reading up on adoption. I am feeling more and more strongly that it is something I would like to find out more about when the time is right-it's still too soon now. DH has agreed to do that but has said he doesn't feel it will be something he wants to do, because he doesn't feel he would feel the same about an adoptive child as our ds. Obviously this is in early stages and I would never push him into this if he is not sure it's what he wants but I wondered if anyone else has been in a similar position and how it was resolved.

My husband was the same. We are foster carers and he already knows what it is like to love a child that is not legally ours but he felt adoption was a step too far. We talked loads and explored adoption for a good while before we were placed with a foster child who had complex needs and with a view to adopting him if a placement order was granted by the courts.
Anyway we have just had lunch out with our 3yr old son who officially became ours last november. My husband was taliking about this v thing and how he could never believe he could adopt someone elses biological child but now he is ours we dont even give that a thought.
You have never seen a man more besotted with a child. He freely admits that he adores him and is so glad to have adopted him. And the feeling is mutual. They have such a special bond it is touching to see !
I am so sorry for your loss and as you say it is early days so i would give it time and patience to grieve the loss of another birth child and then see how he feels. I really hope it works out for you x
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I am a foster carer and a child here who moved on to adoption I must admit I truly loved her as much as I would have loved my own so it is possible when you provide and care for the needs of a person daily it's impossible not to love them.