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Adoption

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Advice on books and films for adopted kids

7 replies

moofolk · 02/09/2017 22:34

I've noticed how nuclear-family-centric most kids' films and books are and looking for any tips of films / books / tv programs to look out for or avoid. Doesn't have to be about adoption per se, this is advice for a couple about to become home to 3 & 4 year old sisters.

Thanks!

OP posts:
tldr · 03/09/2017 09:21

I was worried about this too but it's been a lot less trouble than I thought.

Nuclear family films were actually good for us because it reinforced our family setting and let them see families that looked like ours - obviously that's only going to be good if that's how your family looks, but it meant things like Peppa Pig were a winner with me.

I was more bothered by the films where mum was absent, of which there are many, particularly if the point of the movie was to seek out mum, because I was worried they'd be relating to it wrt to BM. Once I realised they were relating to it wrt me (or not relating to it at all) I chilled about that a bit more.

We avoided anything obviously about adoption/fostering for ages, but it sneaks in to everything, (The Rescuers, really? Bedknobs snd Broomsticks? Who knew?) so I gave up on that and just make sure I keep half an ear listening for anything wildly inappropriate. (So watching Annie, I made sure LO knew that was a fictionalised system in another country and not like what had happened to her.)

Things we still avoid are things designed to tug at heart strings. (The Good Dinosaur, I'm looking at you, and I'll not be seeking ET out anytime soon). That's just because we have an abundance of crazy emotions anyway, they don't need to be artificial provoked!

And finally, there's the Adoption at the Movies review site. No idea who it's by, but it's great.

www.adoptionlcsw.com/?m=1

moofolk · 03/09/2017 14:09

Thanks that's helpful. The Good Dinosaur is out already (dad dies and it's the kid's fault? Jeez.) Pixar love a bit of heart-string pulling!

OP posts:
mymindisabridged · 03/09/2017 19:50

Adoption at the movies is a great resource, much better to have a head's up. Despicable Me is one we've avoided.

For 3&4 year old sisters, aren't you stuck with Frozen, or is that passé? Apart from the parental loss, which is reasonably quick and not dwellt upon, it's good. The first five times.

Mintylizzy9 · 06/09/2017 20:29

Hi

Nursery read this at story time last month with no follow up or any kind of chat with the kids and my 3.9 year old is still out of sorts almost five weeks later. In fact he cried a few times this afternoon to his key worker that mummy isn't coming back which he's NEVER mentioned before ☹️

Italiangreyhound · 06/09/2017 21:34

moo I think almost all children's films contain peril and that peril is almost always about losing their family at some point!

Tangled/Paddington/Kung Fu Panda (especially 2)/Finding Nemo/The Jungle book/Jurassic Park 3/Frozen/The Lion King/Madagascar 2/How to train your dragon.... I expect I could go on!

Despicable me has a very strong adoption line and then abandonment! But with a Happy Ending.

I've heard Finding Dorey is very bad.

My son (7) has seen most of these (Not Jurassic Park 3 and Finding Dorey) and he has not had any problems but I do think these films could be hard for some.

Meet The Robinsons is about adoption and is the most excellent film.

Just read up about the film before you go to see it.

I find parental guidance can be a good page to google for that film.

EG

www.imdb.com/title/tt1302011/parentalguide

Or other articles...

www.huffingtonpost.com/tara-mcnamara/the-top-15-family-films-a_b_6331544.html

Italiangreyhound · 06/09/2017 21:36

Mintylizzy sorry to hear this, have you been able to talk to him about it. About how stories are not true etc, find some funny stories about something totally crazy.

Poor little soul. Thanks

Mintylizzy9 · 07/09/2017 12:52

Working on it Italian but you know how it is! Had a big chat last night and this morning about the practical side of coping for nursery and put a plan in place for when he feels sad/misses me.

More subtle things such as reading the I wished for you story at bedtime etc to reinforce the message and lots of nurture work. He's embracing the baby regression as well. Thankfully as his language skills improve so does his understanding so although still very behind we can communicate rather well...even if no one else understands us!

Slow and steady and plenty of gin 😉

We go on holiday next week so may well be back to square 1 by the time we get back!!!!

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