Contact being late.

[OurMiracle1106]

Just that really. I've noticed over last couple of letters that my sons parents (I'm his birth mum) have been shorter and had less information within them. Last time there was also no drawing etc which is normal once a year and was due which i let go.

Before they have always been on time or a day or 2 late but nothing major and it's been social services causing the delays however this time it's over 2 weeks late and still no sign of it.

Is it possible they've decided to stop contact all together? And what are my rights if they do? I've consistently written back. Never written anything inappropriate but have swerved personal questions such as what job and what company as I feel my son whose 7 wouldn't be asking specifics however I did say I work in an admin type role

How long do I wait before re contacting social worker? Do I wait the full 4 week time frame taking me to mine being due?

Sorry to read you've not had your letter.
I think its wise to go ahead and send yours - the LA must then send it on to the adopters, maybe it will prompt them to write.
Our children long for the day a letter from birth mum drops on the mat....

I'm hoping my son will grow up knowing that If nothing more I always TRIED even if I do fail.

I'm hoping my son will grow up knowing that If nothing more I always TRIED even if I do fail.

Ourmiracle, I know how hard you have found maintaining the contact with your son over recent years. I read of one birthmother who wrote a letter to her child every year on his birthday and kept it. When her son contacted her in later years, he was able to see how much she loved and yearned for him every day of their time apart. She could write what she felt without worrying about distressing him or in any way disrupting his developing relationship with his new parents. I think that it helped both the son and the mother. I wish that I had thought of it. Perhaps this would help you.
All the best to you. You are a lovely mum.

Sorry you haven't heard from them. I really hope it is just the rush of a new school year etc. You are absolutely doing right to keep writing, even if you hear nothing in return.

Hi, just wanted to say that sounds like a great decision for your boy. It totally makes sense that you feel bad about it and might feel like you've failed. At the same time what I'm hearing is a tenacious, caring, thoughtful birth parent who is putting her own feelings aside to make sure things are consistent and settled for their son. FWIS this sounds like the opposite of failure to me.

Doh...*FWIW

I have nothing to say except I was browsing the adoption forum and came across this post and I really hope you do receive a reply.

You sound thoughtful, caring and kind. Keeping consistent with the letters is the best thing. If it was me, I'd continue to write, even though it will be hard.

This time of year is very busy-- think two week holiday, followed by getting the children to school. It's all intense and maybe the adoptive parents have just not had time to communicate to your son about the letter or think about it themselves.

Thank you for your support. I heard from the social worker late yesterday afternoon to say my letter has (just) arrived. 6 weeks later than expected but it is there now. He's given me the option of writing back after I get it.

I feel that timings do need to be reconsidered now our son is older (he isn't just theirs or just mine as far as I'm concerned). And discussed.

I had a few emotions at work yesterday. (I work for a children's centre attached to a school so it can be very difficult). I'm hoping to collect next week but dependent on being able to take TOIL back especially as my manager goes on leave midday Monday so our team will be relying a lot on me for various issues.

Really glad to hear that the letter is there now.