Adoption - feels like it will never happen

[Chattea]

We have two birth sons and always wanted to adopt. Our assessment took 18 months and was full of frustrating delays. We identified and pursued a match with a little girl and we are ready and waiting. The final court hearing for the placement order was meant to be two weeks ago, then it was adjourned till this week, now they're saying 'we might know on Monday and maybe we got it all wrong and the judge is now NOT going to place her for adoption'. I was stupid enough to tell people that we'd been matched and now everyone's asking and I keep having to say 'not yet'. But far, far worse than that is how churned up I am. I know everything about this little girl, have made an emotional attachment and commitment to her even though I haven't met her, have given up commitments and activities in preparation for her coming to our family and now have to be 'adult' enough to wait patiently for the outcome and, maybe have to start all over again with another match.
It is SO hard.

Hi, as a foster care of babies usually being placed for adoption I just wanted to wish you good luck.

From talking to many adoptive couples I know just how frustrating and scary all the waiting is. {{{hugs}}}

Oh Chattea, it's horrible isn't it. We were matched with a little girl and the date to start the handover was set to start on a Monday, on the Friday before we heard that the foster parents had decided to adopt her against social services wishes (for various reasons). I had already started my adoption leave but had to go back to work. The whole thing took about 4 months to be sorted out legally while we waited and waited, and she ended up being adopted by her foster parents. It was a really stressful time, and I still think about her wistfully sometimes.

However, about 18 months after that we were matched with our wonderful son and I love him more than anything and wouldn't change anything that happened in the past because it led to us getting him. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. {{{hugs}}}

Thank you for your kind thoughts. It's so hard to hold it all together when your emotions are messed around with like this.

((Chattea}} thats so hard

I know just how you feel the limbo stage is the pits. You feel like you're living in a void. All you can do is keep plodding on as best you can and time does somehow pass.

Take care and good luck

Thanks - at the moment it seems like it's 50:50
what the outcome will be. It's hard that such a life-changing decision is totally out of your hands. We just have to trust that the judge gets it right for this little girl.

Chattea how hard for you, I hope everything works out for you.

any news chattea?