Where do you start?

[Sosks]

Hi all!

I'm currently 36 weeks pregnant with a little boy who sadly has a very poor prognosis. We are dealing with it the best we can, but they think it may be genetic. We've discussed the possibility of adopting if that turns out to be the case when results come back, and though I may be jumping the gun a little bit, I'd like to know where to start?

As a side note - we are both quite young (23 & 30) and both in full-time employment (19k & 11k).

Honestly, take some time to process the losses involved in your pregnancy and possible genetic issues that might stop you having a birth child. Starting the adoption process in many ways as simple as contacting your local authority but is way more complex in that you need to be in an ok place yourself. It's not a substitute for having birth children, it's a completely different process and you really need to have put to rest any issues around the loss of birth children.

It's very early days for you and I can understand you wanting to know what your options are. I'm thinking of you at what must be a truly dreadful time.

Thank you @Jellycatspyjamas. It is a really difficult time, I guess one of my ways of coping is trying to make some plans and find options for the future as we don't have any control over what is happening now. I do understand that it might seem as though I'm thinking to replace the child we may lose, but it's more a case that if we cannot conceive because of genetic issues, I would rather give another child a loving home.

We've had a while to come to terms with things already, having found out there were issues very early on so it's something we have been giving a great deal of thought to. Of course, there's no way to say how we will feel once our child is born and if we do lose him, but whilst we're in limbo I felt it best to explore these options. If we chose to adopt, we definitely won't be rushing into things but I want to be aware of the process and what we might expect to encounter should we eventually decide to go down that route. I hope that makes sense!

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. It's just awful and I totally understand that need to explore all options. I know I began to consider adoption for about a year before we officially decided to stop TTC. I don't have any helpful advice. Just wanted to say I understand and I'm thinking of you both and your baby xx

To start with you would have to contact your local authority and attend an information evening. You can go with any authority within a 35 mile radius (theoretically) so it is worth attending meetings with a few different authorities (and voluntary agencies) in order to find one you are comfortable with. At the meetings you register your interest and they will arrange for someone to come to your home and see you.

Sorry for what you are going through. Take time out and look after yourself