Intros at a distance

[Jellycatspyjamas]

So, we have our planning meeting next week and intros start the following day. DC (6 & 4) are currently living 200 miles away and we'll be in hotel accommodation for about a week, after which they'll come to us and slowly but surely move in. It's anticipated intros will take 10-14 days.

Has anyone done long distance intros? What should we be thinking about, is there anything that made the process easier or more manageable, thing you wished you'd had handy etc? All help and advice warmly welcomed

I think you'd be better in self catering "home from home" accommodation rather than a hotel.
We did long distance and stayed in a cottage for the time we were there. You can get a supermarket delivery or whatever too.
You definitely need amazon prime for quick ordering of all the things you didn't know about.
Nothing to do with distance but sit back and observe routines for the first day, we didn't and regretted it.
Oh yeah and loads of drinks and snacks for outings, that age are eating machines ..... mine is anyway

I would push for 'home from home' type accomodation. A hotel is lovely for a night away, not suitable for the most stressful week of your lives, for either you, or the kids. You need space to make snacks, and sit down and be normal. A hotel just isn't suitable.

We got a holiday cottage.

We tried to find a holiday cottage but there was nothing within a 50 mile radius, foster careers are both very far away and very rural so we've been limited in choice particularly in the height of school holidays and with 2 weeks notice! Our choices came down to a medium sized hotel about 10 miles away or a local B&B - we went for the hotel to try and preserve some sense of privacy.

I know it's far from ideal - we're lumping it into a "things that will pass" type box along with just about everything else intros related.

Were you tasked with finding the accommodation? I'd say that would be SS job, and important enough to consider delaying intros over.

Definately need a cottage or something similar.
Have someone back home that is also on hand for you. My parents did a shop for us and put food etc in the fridge so we didn't need to worry about food when we did get home.

Get as much as you can possibly do prep wise at your home before you leave. The next few weeks are going to be so tiring that you just need everything to be done before you get home

We also took a big bag of teabags, milk, biscuits etc to foster parents on day 1. That way we didn't feel so guilty about drinking / eating all her stuff.

Have plenty of patience , sleep when you can and try and relax. Intros are hard so look after yourselves

All the best!

Oh and another thing - ask how much stuff you will be taking back with your DC's. We had masses of stuff to take home with us (toys, clothes etc). Make sure you have enough space in the car for you all, your things, their things and them

We have recently done intros at a distance. Ss found us a cottage which worked really well for us although we never took LO to it. We then had a few days back at our house with foster carer staying in a hotel with LO. Again this really helped intros be successful. We then went back to LO hometown for final few days. LOADS of driving backwards and forwards but things are going well for us a few weeks post placement and we think this was due to the way intros at a distance were planned out. I would really push for them to structure it well for you and you LOS.

Ditto to Mogletea. Allow heaps of space in your car!

We're not bringing them back with us - the foster carers are bringing them down and social work are arranging the moving of all their stuff so we don't need to worry about transporting it - or indeed a 3/4 hour drive with new children.

Intros have been delayed twice now because of issues with foster carers so I'm not keen to delay now, social work did offer to find accommodation for us but their options were worse than our own.

I've got everything done at this end, have an online shop set up just to add as we go, will do one for amazon prime too. Good idea about tea/coffee etc. Think we'll also keep cold drinks in the car (fridge) and being snacks etc too.

You'll want to have some stuff in ready for their first visit to your place, though. It took SSs 3 months to get our stuff transported, so you may well need to take some stuff in your car.

How long would you have to delay to get better accomodation? I really think a hotel is so much less than ideal, I'd delay.

It would mean a delay really to the end of the holiday season, so 6/8 weeks, which in the grand scheme of things isn't huge but both children are anxious to move and that kind of delay would feel like forever to them.

Good point about having their stuff here for them arriving, we've loads of space in our car - though I'm guessing there's never enough room.

Hi we have recently completed introductions at a distance with a older school aged child. We also have 2 birth children.

We found a hotel to be a great choice for us. I made the most of having my breakfast made for us all and we ate out everyday with LO as we were out busy with local activities. The first day was only a 2 hour meeting the next day 4 hours and so on to a full day by 4/5. We made the most of the local restaurants etc the kids thought it was a great holiday! Then midway we had a meeting then moved LO with foster carer to where we live and they stayed in a hotel together. We collected LO everyday and took them back to foster carer in the evening.

It was a tiring couple of weeks and we were glad when LO moved in! I made sure we had food already in for our return especially things LO liked. Calpol - I have needed that already as LO got a cold and had a temperature. Find out from foster careers all the things foods, toiletries, nappies/pull ups they like/use so you can get them in now before intros.

Hope this helps a bit! Good luck.

No advice (except take lots of photos on a lap top of your home, the new room etc). I've not experienced this type of into but just an idea.

Good luck.