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Birth father contesting adoption ...advice pls

8 replies

nialopes · 21/02/2017 23:15

Hi everyone,

My husband is adopting my daughter. She is 12 years old. Her birth father left when she was 4 and has never had any contact with her or me ever since. I have been married to my husband for 6 years so he has raised my dauggter with me. He is thd only dad she knows and it is her wish to be adopted.

Over the years we have kept relationship with her grandad (father of my ex husband) and he also supports the adoption. My ex husband also agreed for my daughter to change her surname so she is now with my husband's name.

We started the adoption almost 2 years ago and iur social worker is lovely. She supports the adoption but has just managed to speak my ex husband finely and he is going to contest! I have become so worried about it now. There has been no contact, no child maintenance nothing at all. My daughter even wants to go to court to speak with judge herself as she is very upset by the whole thing.

From anyone here who has experience with this....would thd judge listen to him or my daughter's wishes. I read that they consider whats best for thd child but does that include her wishes? Should we go to court as well or the report from social worker and cafcass guardian will be enough?

Sick worried now ....

OP posts:
luckylucky24 · 22/02/2017 12:15

I am sure there was something similar in here in the last couple of weeks and the judge decided it was in the child's best interest for the adoption to go ahead. Sounds like your ex is just trying to be difficult.

Babygirl55 · 22/02/2017 12:28

luckylucky24 thank you for replying!

Yes unfortunately that is all he is trying to do. He has had no contact since 2009! He has remarried and has another 2 kids from new marriage. My daughter does not know him at all, only from a few photos I kept from when she was a baby.
We had interviews with Social worker twice and she also interviewed all my family and for a long time he was not responding to her emails or texts. All of a sudden he spoke with her on the phone and said he is really unhappy about adoption. My daughter cried herself to sleep last night :( Social worker says nobody can force her to have contact with him if she does not want to.

I read another similar post on here and there was an ex CAFCASS officer who commented as well. I hope she or other lawyers or CAFCASS officers on here might be able to shed some light. Is it best that we all go to court and my daughter can speak with judge herself? Would the judge listen to her wishes or my ex? Obviously it is in her best interest to be adopted as she knows no other dad apart from my husband and we are her family.

She is a very mature 12 years old girl and very strong in her wishes. I am hoping judge will consider that.

luckylucky24 · 23/02/2017 08:13

Do you have a solicitor? Maybe she could pass on a letter from DD?

Babygirl55 · 23/02/2017 09:07

We do not have a solicitor because my social worker said we have a strong case and really don't need one. She is after all representing us and also the Cafcass guardian will be representing my daughter's wishes so i did not think we need one. I can't really afford one to be honest :)

But that is a good idea! I wonder if instead of going to court she can write a letter and social worker can give to the judge?

luckylucky24 · 23/02/2017 10:50

Worth asking. Good luck.

Babygirl55 · 23/02/2017 12:11

thank you ....we will need it :)

catsnickedallmypens · 25/02/2017 15:13

Babygirl I'm the ex-CAFCASS officer. The court will, without doubt under the circumstances, dispense with your ex partner's consent if he refuses to give it. The CAFCASS officer and the SW should also interview your daughter and ensure that the court is aware of her wishes. Don't worry, your ex is just trying to cause difficulties, he has no leg to stand on given the situation. PM me if you want to talk it through further.

I'm also an adopter so been there personally too.

Babygirl55 · 26/02/2017 06:22

Hi catsnickedallmypens,

Thank you so much for replying. I will pm you

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