My feed

to access all these features

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.


Adoption Allowance & Divorce

2 replies

tattoo69 · 31/01/2017 16:33

Hi All,
I have 2 adopted children (age 9 & 11), and my husband and I have just divorced after about 18months apart (he had an affair with and is still with the temp childminder we had). The children are slowly settling - and it amazes me what they can take in and cope with. DD is very matter of fact, DS is more sensitive, worries a bit and for a long time was very bitter and angry at the childminder. My main problem is that we share the care 60/40 (they are with me a little more than him), but he has never paid any maintenance since the day we parted. He did pay half the school uniforms and half the Christmas presents this year. As far as he is concerned I receive the adoption allowance (applied for in my name only) and as he feeds them / pays for them when they are with him, he shouldn't need to pay anything else towards their keep. My DS has a residential school trip coming up (£300) and asked DH to help pay half, but he has refused and says that this is an example of what the allowance should be used for. I work full time and I pay the (new!) childcare bill as it's my choice to work (or else we wouldn't have a home!!). Does anyone else have any experience on this and know if he is indeed able to claim his portion of the adoption allowance?
Things were pretty amicable up until New Year and they seem to have taken a twist again :o(

OP posts:
tldr · 31/01/2017 17:41

Was the allowance given for some specific need? If so it should be for meeting that need.

But if you've not already tried the Relationship board I'd go there. They'll tell you what's what. Flowers

tattoo69 · 31/01/2017 17:57

No specific need was every really identified to us, so not really. I've spoken to the LA who pay it, my solicitor and the CMS and there seems to be conflicting info as each has their own opinion. I just need to be clear before I raise a case with the CMS and end up having to pay him more than he pays me, as I am only just keeping our heads above water as it is :o(

OP posts:
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.