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Adoption

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Picture album

10 replies

jimbob1 · 04/09/2016 18:41

We are putting together an album for lo this week.
How many would you put in? LO is only 11 months so won't have a huge attention span so I was thinking of no more than 10 but is that too many?
And what combinations?
An individual one of each of us then all together (us and DS)
One of me and DH
One of me and DS
One of DS and DH
Is that enough? Too much?

I am probably really overthinking this so appreciate guidance!

OP posts:
PotofGold1186 · 04/09/2016 18:51

Is this for introductions? We sent our lo about 6photos in a book and laminated 2more. She was 9m.
We had the same teddy In all photos with us. Some of us alone, some with each other or the pets. She loved the laminated ones and still loves any photos of us!

jimbob1 · 04/09/2016 20:21

Thanks. I need to remember the teddy in the pics. We took DS to make it at the bear factory today which was really nice.

OP posts:
greenandblackssurvivalkit · 04/09/2016 20:53

I worried about this. However, I'm not sure DS even saw our photo book before meeting us. We did a butterfly album as well, but again, don't think this was shown to him much at all.

Do what you think will make panel go: "awwww!" [cynic]

jimbob1 · 04/09/2016 21:09

To be honest we feel like that at the moment. So much bloody red tape.
I get that it is the system but what is the point in matching panel?

Family finders and social workers decide a match, talk to us, talk to each other, talk to foster carer, medical advisor and lo social workers and then you go to panel where 7/8 strangers who have read the paperwork make a recommendation that someone else should approve the match! Too much!
Either Panel should make the final decision or the decision maker should sit on panel.

Sorry for the minor rant there.

OP posts:
Twopots · 05/09/2016 21:28

Can you get some large laminated photos that the foster Carer can put in the cot or near where little one is playing?

greenandblackssurvivalkit · 06/09/2016 11:43

You can do all sorts, but it's up to the foster carer whether LO sees them!

I recommend Chablis, jimbob. I agree I the point of matching panel. It felt like a bit of a wank on to me. But then, so much is.

Italiangreyhound · 06/09/2016 22:46

We had a talking album so were limited to 8.

We had the three of us

  1. together
  2. me
  3. dh
  4. dd
  5. the cat
  6. our house
  7. dc's new room
  8. local park
Kr1stina · 07/09/2016 09:36

Jimbob - Panel is a legal requirement

In many agencies, the decision maker DOES sit on the panel , so applicants know the decision immediately.

In most SS, adoption is very very low down the priority list . In some of them , theres a culture of making everything really slow, to keep the foster carers ( who are seen as a but uppity and demanding ) and the adoptive parents ( who are desperate ) in their place .

They don't have any real skills to contribute to the process, so they replace it with non evidence based knowledge and pointless bureaucracy .

It's about power and control . The social workers don't actually have any power over the people that they came into the job to " help" , who they see as the " deserving poor " . Of course they end up feeling that most of " the poor " are in fact " undeserving " and they get bitter and burnt out .

In fact most of the time, no one wants their " help" , they just see them as a bloody nuisance. So one of the few groups of people they can control are prospective adopters.

I mean, most of us find most of them a bloody nuisance too, but we don't have the power to tell them to piss off, unlike their other clents.

The worse they are are their job, the more they need you to be humble and grateful and never question anything they say or do.

That's why everyone on the adoption boards here will advise you to NEVER complain about anything. It's not a very self critical culture and they don't do reflective practice .

Of course this isn't an issues with the good ones, who have the skills to work in a person centred , collaborative way with you. But sadly they are few and far between .

So that's a long way of saying - you just to need to smile and nod at the process. You can't make it go any faster .

stinkybelle · 08/09/2016 06:30

Don't forget pets.. My dd could name the pets on our initial meeting day and I also got them in all pics she adores them and adds continuity

Italiangreyhound · 08/09/2016 12:56
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