I need some help, advice and virtual handholds. I am sat here in tears, utterly exhausted because my DD (nearly 6) won't go to sleep. I have posted about this before and had some really helpful advice and for a while (a couple of years) we seemed to have a version of co sleeping + reward chart incentive + good going off to sleep with only waking up in the early hours that whilst not in anyway a perfect solution meant that we both got a decent enough amount of sleep.
However, the last couple of weeks have been hellish. It has taken longer and longer for her to go off to sleep. Tonight I sat with for an hour and she is still wide awake. I am on my own and just feel like an utterly rubbish mother. I don't get any time to myself so I am grumpy and tired and cross and snappy during the day. This makes me feel worse and I just can't shake the feeling I am doing something wrong.
We have a strong bedtime routine. Unwind downstairs, up for a wash, into pjs and a story together, then kisses and cuddles when she is in bed and I sit in her room away from the bed til she falls asleep. This used to work. It would be 15/20 mins max before she drifted off. I don't know why it isn't working at the moment. I have previously (a good few years ago) tried to leave her to go off to sleep by herself. This resulted in massive anxiety for her and she would stand at the top of the stairs crying for me. This is when I made the transition to staying in the room with her til she fell asleep.
Tonight I have let her go to sleep straight away in her emergency bed in my room. I am sure this is the wrong thing to do and I am probably just making a rod for my own back but I didn't know what else to do to try and get some respite from her and for her to get some sleep. I left her at 9 and I think she is still awake.
I cannot think of anything that has upset or unsettled her other than me being really grumpy and unpleasant (but that is a chicken and egg situation, I am grumpy cos I'm exhausted and I'm exhausted cos she doesn't sleep)
I have to work during the day whilst she is at school but I am so tired and I am behind with work which I could really do with catching up on in the evening but can't cos she won't go to sleep early enough or stay asleep long enough. I am lucky if I get 2 or 3 hours between putting her to bed and needing to go and settle her down because she's woken up. I am at the end of my tether. Something has got to give and I feel like at the moment it is going to be me, but then I think I can't give up or give in because who will pay the bills, who will feed her, take care of her, get her to school etc etc.
I'm sure I just need to crack a better bedtime routine but I don't know where to start.