Thinking about adoption (scared of courses etc)

[topcat2014]

I am thinking about adoption (have one child now), but am a bit scared about the 'courses'

I am a conservative voter, and I don't know any non-white people currently, and have always worked in the private sector. I read the Times.

I am a bit scared I would get ripped to pieces for not having the required 'right-on' views.

Should add I don't hold any racist views, it's just I don't want to have to talk about all that area either because I know i would commit some kind of gaffe.

This is putting me off even making the first phone call. I got a bit nervous reading about things on the website.

please do make that first initial call OP :)

Cleo1303 Re "Yes, but not of named children. They were anonymous examples of children who were looking for parents at the time through the agency." ah yes i see what you mean now.

They do normally contact ex husbands or wives so I am surprised they didn't. I can imagine it must be hard when they do.

I'm an adopter and have not come across any anti middle class sentiment ever. I have come across the "I was rejected because I am middle class" thing but tbh there are usually other factors such as only wanting a baby. As others have said there are fewer children being placed for adoption than adopters, and many adopters wait for over a year after being approved before they are matched with a child. My advice would be to ring round a few agencies, your local authority might even have a policy whereby they don't place children in the same area, ours did. I contacted a few and went with the most helpful.

You can also try VAs such as Coram or Barnardo's. You also don't have to apply to adopt from a certain area. Once you are approved, your agency if they are an LA will try to place one of their own children with you if they can. After 3 months if there is no match you are placed on the national register and can see profiles from all over the country. Our Agency put us straight on there as they had no children to match us.

I have come across single adopters and adopters with birth children who have waited longer than couples (any gender).

great advice avo although the 3 month rule can be discounted now in some LAs.

Italiangreyhound: I had been divorced for over 10 years and ex had been violent and had received a police caution. I also said I didn't know where he was which was actually true although I could have found out if I had wanted to. He would have been delighted to have had the chance to lie and wreck things for me. He'd continued to be pretty evil long after we were divorced and he had remarried. SW didn't like the sound of him and agreed she didn't need to speak to him.

Thanks for further comments. The internet is funny, isn't it, in that you can't really fully explain what you mean - at least that's what I find when I come back to posts that I make on various forums.

Anyway, have applied on line - waiting information packs etc.

We're not completely green to the problems of the world - am school governor, charity trustee etc.

Still a big step into the unknown. But, hey, that's what being a fully grown middle aged adult is all about isn't it.

Good for you. See what you think. I'm sure if you have any questions we will try to help.

It's a big step, but you've just taken the first little step!