Bullying of adopted daughter

[flightywoman]

My daughter, 8 yo, been home for over 3 years, has recently disclosed that she is being bullied at school and that the bullies are using the fact of her being adopted as their weapon.

They tell her she is unwanted, not loved by us, that she doesn't belong with us, that she should be with her "real family" etc etc.

This is having the most awful effect on her - I suspect she partly thinks they're right - she is bad tempered, confrontational and angry, she is taking it out on her friends and on me.

And I am heartbroken. These children are ruining her and making her unhappy.

The other problem is that she doesn't know their names and I just don't know where to start.

Obviously I will be going to talk to school next week, but without names what can I do?

I'm usually not in favour of the victim having to run away but her confidence is so low that she doesn't have anything left with which to stand up to them.

What am I going to do? I'm so angry and upset with them all for hurting my beautiful girl...

Fabulous, good news.

How are things?

I think we've managed to conquer it for the moment - it seems as though the fact that teachers were told immediately and the playground supervisors were looking out for any misbehaving has stopped it. She has been happy all week and there's been no mention of it.

I expect it will return but she knows that it gets taken seriously and that we act on it immediately so I hope she will say if it starts up again.

Fingers crossed!

And thank you all for such good advice and for the hand-holding, it helped me so much.

Excellent, fab news. XX

That's great! Really pleased

Well! She's finally said who has been behind all the bullying. She has known all along but was afraid of getting them into trouble. So I said she hasn't at all, it's their behaviour that will be giving them a problem, and that if they hadn't been unkind to her then they wouldn't be in trouble.

It's a girl that I thought was a friend till a few months ago, and she's been saying stuff like BM dumped our daughter and didn't want her, no-one wants her, she's a liar about having a brother etc etc.

So we had an impromptu bit of life-story work and discussed what she wants me to do which is let school deal with it, not to speak to the parents myself.

I am on this first thing tomorrow.

And I am so proud of her for trusting me enough to say.

Flighty that is fabulous, that she told you. I am sure you made her feel like the hero she is. Bless her