My feed

to access all these features

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.


About my son

9 replies

Laurabunting · 27/12/2015 18:47

My son at moment is 5months old :-) at the moment he is in fostercare and they are going for adoption I am wondering would you repeal before having a new baby or would you sick fighting for your son before ss take it to adoption and don't sign and try and win again or leave it and move on no bad comments me and partner tried my best :-(

OP posts:
Laurabunting · 27/12/2015 18:49

Just asking for help :-( as it as made us very sad :-(

OP posts:
Tanfastic · 27/12/2015 18:55

Well I would be doing my upmost to ensure that I cooperated fully with social services and the local authority to do all I could to ensure that everything I could possibly do I'd done in order to try and stop the court making an adoption order. I'd be Jumping through hoops. Obviously I don't know the circumstances surrounding the reason your baby was taken into care so it's difficult to comment. There are certain things that are just not compatible with bringing up a child. If the same things still exist in your circumstances in a second pregnancy the chances are that the local authority will intervene again.

Hangtidy · 27/12/2015 18:59

My advice would be to ask ss "what would convince you to return my baby to me? what would I have to do to prove myself to you?" and if there is no answer, maybe accept that your child will be adopted. If they give you an answer, do your upmost to live up to their expectations. Don't give up yet.

Jidgetbones · 27/12/2015 21:37

I would do everything I could to keep my baby, before even considering another pregnancy. I second asking social services what needs to happen to get your baby back, and do it, all of it, however stupid and wrong it sounds. I would cut contact with any adult required, move, anything. Anything to keep my child.

If they say there's no changes you can make in time to keep this baby, then ask them what changes need to be made to be allowed to keep future babies. Then make those changes, however ridiculous you think they are, before getting pregnant.

Good luck, being away from your baby must be heart breaking.

thefamilyvonstrop · 27/12/2015 22:35

OP, the blog below is written by a mother who has been through child protection court proceedings and you may find her advice and links helpful.

combined02 · 27/12/2015 22:51

I don't know the answers but there are organisations which help people in your situation, and having just googled I have found Family Rights Group, website
Freephone 0808 801 0366

If they can't help they might be able to recommend someone else - there are other groups and charities around.

Agree with the other pp who have said that if one baby is taken, social services would almost certainly get involved again as soon as you are registered as pregnant. If how your home environment or parenting skills need to be improved, the Family Rights Group might well be able to point you in the right direction to get help and advice. In relation to fighting to keep your child, they will also be able to provide advice, and might recommend a solicitor, and advise about how best to work with social services. It all depends on the circumstances.

Good luck x

combined02 · 27/12/2015 23:02

*Sorry, I meant "If your home environment..." - not "If how your home environment..."

Italiangreyhound · 28/12/2015 00:46

Laurabunting I am so sorry you are in this situation. You may not be able to say what the problems are.

I must agree with Jidgetbones, Tanfastic and Hangtidy (in no partictular order), they have given good advice.

If social services have removed a baby from you then if you get pregnant again they will investigate again to see if enough things have changed in your life to mean it is advisable to let you keep the next baby.

As I am sure you know, babies are not replaceable. You cannot have another one to heal the hurt you feel from the loss of the first one. If you want to parent your child, please do all you can to get back the care of your child. If this is not possible you will need to allow your heart to heal a little more, and your circumstances to change enough for you to be able to keep your next child. I sincerely hope you realise I am not saying this to be hurtful. It is possible to move on in life, I do believe it will help you to move on in life if you have done all you can, even if you do not get your child back.

I would do everything in my power to keep my child. I have two children, one birth child and one by adoption. I would do whatever it took to keep either of my children. Be it counselling or therapy, medical or practical help, moving home or leaving my husband (if he were the 'problem') or cutting contact with my wider family (if they were the 'problem') in deed as someone else said, 'any adult'.

Of course I would want to identify what exactly was the problem before I started leaving places or people.

You really do not need to say more here if you do not wish to, but you do need to know for you.

The only situation I would not do this is if I felt completely and utterly that I could not care adequately for my children. And if that really were the case, I would not want any more.

fasparent · 28/12/2015 11:56

Would contact Family Nurse Partnership is a new service set up this year specific too help young family's in your position too and too prevent children being taken into care. //
They may also be able too help in your present situation, but Safe Guarding children will always have president in all situations.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.