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Fostering for adoption / concurrent adoption

3 replies

RubyTuesdays · 13/12/2015 19:54

Hi, new here and looking into adopting with do. Does anyone have any experience of concurrent adoption/ fostering for adoption as a way to be placed with a younger baby? Thanks X

OP posts:
FestiveBalls · 13/12/2015 22:29

No experience of concurrent planning/foster to adopt as we chose to say no to this type of placement because of the risk involved but just wanted to say that it is potentially a big risk and you must go into it with a very realistic outlook. We adopted a young baby but they were being fostered and having contact with BP until the decision was made for adoption. 2 things to consider if you go down that route would be:

  • how would you feel taking child to contact with BP
  • how do you feel about the very real potential for child to be returned to BP when they may have been placed with you for some time and you have built a strong attachment. Imagine having to give that longed for child back.

You also have to accept a great deal of risk with a young baby in terms of their future development, for example effects of alcohol or drugs that are unknown at the time of placement because they are to young for any issues to have arisen.

I'm not a big fan of FTA or concurrent planning as an adopter, it leaves you very vulnerable to heartache and I'm not sure that it is morally right, even when adopters say they are aware of the risks and willing to accept them.
Tamponlady · 14/12/2015 14:21

Totally agree I was a baby foster carer had one baby from birth and I have never gotten over it NEVER and I knew that baby wasn't staying we had courses on moving babies on I spoke to other carers yet on the day I sobbed like I was 12 and had to lay down on the cold kitchen floor to stop everything hurting.
And I am allowed to have contact

Tbh one of the reasons why we didn't do it was because of the reasons mentioned above but also consider that as a foster carer the BP will be able to have access to your details your address , who lives in your home their names etc because as a FC you don't share PR with the la the BP do and as such have a right to your details this would have implications if you did go on to adopt also

It's not just BP you may possibly loose your child to a relative who comes forward at the last minute

GoldieGirl · 15/12/2015 15:35

Hi: We are a few months into a foster-adopt placement with a newborn baby. So far things have been amazing, hard work of course, but smoother than expected although it's not at its conclusion yet.

We don't have to meet with the BP, baby is collected and returned for contact, and the BP don't know where we live, or anything about us that could locate us.

If you decide to follow this route it does mean you potentially have a baby from a few days old. Yes there is a risk, but there is a lot to gain for you and the baby if you go on to adopt. You need to have a lot of confidence in your LA/agency and with your SW's and make sure they 1) have experience of other successful FFa placements 2) they give you as much information as possible about the BP, why it's a FFa placement, how likely BP are to turn their lives around etc. It should only be a FFA when they are as sure as they can be the outcome will be adoption. They should also give you clear reasons why they think you are the right person/couple. Also find out what support you would be offered if the baby was returned to BP/ other family member.!

It's not something I originally thought I could do but it seemed the right thing for us and so far has been amazing and I have no regrets. You will find though that it can be a bit isolating - you aren't an adopter like others you may know, but you are also more than a foster carer. If you can juggle that in her mind and navigate complexity, seeing baby go to contact and having SW involved in your life day to day then it might be for you.

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