Angry

[anxious123]

Last week was the first hearing for the AO for my birth son. His social worker knew this and had the paper work I needed from the courts. Unfortunately she was leaving/has now left and despite voicemails, emails and visits to her office to attempt to collect the paper work, as well as contacting the court directly, I never got it. I have no idea what's happening regarding the AO. And the SW' s manager isn't returning calls either.

I just wanted him to know in future that I had attended and had it noted that whilst I'm upset (huge understatement) I can't parent him I was doing what I hope is the right thing and I want nothing more than for him to have the best life he can. I know they're busy and under staffed but this is the rest of his life, surely they could of done it? Not for me but for him later on.

I am utterly furious. How can they do this when an AO is so final? It's not like I was trying to stop them.

Working together for the good of the child?! Are they heck.

Sorry if that's disjointed etc but I just needed it out of my system. Preferably so I can write to the director of children's services before they let another child down.

grumps off

Anxious, that is crap. I am so sorry. Very unMN hugs to you.

It just p*sses me off when they - and this team in my local area are notorious for it - spout all the "working together for the good of the child" lines and then they're the let down.

It probably sounds like I'm just being childish or melodramatic but to me, court dates, and everything else involved in adoption, are a big deal

Of course you're angry - I'd be spitting. I'm so sorry, but sadly not surprised. Big hugs to you.

You have every right and reason to be pissed off. When someone has worked as hard as you have for the good of your child the bare minimum you should be able to expect is to be kept up to date with info on the adoption. You are right, it is important, hugely important and a real cock-up on their part. I am so sorry you have had something else to contend with in the middle of all this

I'm sorry this happened. You shouldn't have to cope with this too.

However, you'd probably be dependent on your son's parents to tell him anyhow, so you probably still have the opportunity to let him know you tried in the next letterbox letter you write.

I know it's probably not the same as actually being there.

It doesn't sound at all childish or melodramatic at all to me. I'm sorry your hands are so tied it must feel mind-blowingly frustrating.

Thanks all. I am still spitting with anger. It's not them that will have to deal with this in years to come, it is the little boy at the heart of this, his parents, me and perhaps a different social worker down the line if he views his files. So quite honestly the people involved now can go screw themselves. They aren't in this for a life time.

Anxious I am so sorry. Try and stay calm. Will you have any contact via letters? Can you put a very calm letter on file for him explaining how much you care for him and how this has happened and you want to make sure he understands. But do not send it yet! Keep it and send it at another time when you are sure that what you have said is what you really want to say?

Thinking of you.

Once a year for letterbox.

They still haven't returned my calls/emails. Grrrrrrr

X

Sorry to hear this, hope you get some better news soon.