Am I being a selfish cow?

[MintyLizzy9]

Got a call from my SW yesterday to say I have a linking meeting next week and so far it's just me being taken forward. She shared some information about LO and so far nothing too concerning (apart from the usual IYSWIM). So far so good......roll forward a few hours and I've been awake half the night churning this around and around in my head and now all I can think about is LO isn't a baby (is a toddler).

This will be my third linking meeting in five months (have been family finding for 6 months), the other two were for under 1's but they picked the other adopter both times, to say each no was heartbreaking is an understatement. I plan on only having one child and I wanted to experience the baby stage. All my conversations about potentials have been for under 1's and I was told there were a few coming through the system that I have already been put forward for so safe to say all I have imagined is a baby.

So far the only no I have for this LO is age and I feel like a shit evening typing this. Has anyone else passed up the baby stage even though they really wanted to experience it?

I'm so confused right now and don't want my decision to be clouded by my previous disappointments and if I'm being totally honest my desperation.

Good luck Minty.

I'm linked I'm linked I'm linked I'm linked I'm linked I'm linked I'm linked I'm linked I'm linked I'm linked I'm linked I'm linked I'm linked I'm linked I'm linked I'm linked I'm linked I'm linked I'm linked I'm linked!!!!!!

Please God if all goes well my son will be coming home in the new year in time for his second birthday

OMFG MY SON!!!!

Yeah, congratulations

Minty, YAY fabulous!!!!!

Brilliant news minty! Congratulations, judging by your hugely excited post you now know you made the right decision. Fabulous, so pleased for you.

have you stared panicking yet - or it all still euphoria?

I've started on the wine....panicking can wait until tomorrow

Sometime during spring you will have a though along the lines of "what on earth have I done" that's when you know you are a parent beyond all doubt

Well done Mummy to be x

Minty!!!!!

Great news, minty! Well done and good luck for the next few months!

Thanks everyone. I'm a long way off being his mummy but the journey has to start somewhere not sure work is going to get anything productive out of for the rest of the year as so far today I have just been working out my figures and researching local playgroups ha! Roll on Christmas is all I can say!!

Hi, I know I am late to the party (congrats on being linked), but thought I'd add my bit anyway.

My ADD2 was 2.5 when placed. As with many adopted children she was behind. So she was still in nappies, still on 3 bottles of milk a day, only just linking words, unsteady on her feet. So although theoretically a 'toddler' she was really in so many ways just a 'big baby'. (Plus she was small for her age too). I don't feel I missed out at all.

Best wishes.

Well it's all a bit of a whirlwind...the little fella will be home before Christmas!! First meeting with his foster carer next week and panel early December.

They can't say no.....the house is already bursting at the seams with all the lovely things I've bought him and his nanna has lost her mind buying everything she can!!! God help me when all the presents start arriving

Congratulations I hope it all goes well

Oh my, this process blows your mind, doesn't it? So much waiting and soul searching then suddenly no time to think and you're a mum! Good luck with the next few months and try to rest as much as you can before he comes home!

So pleased to read your update :-)

Really pleased for you! Gives me hope we will one day find our match!

Ah Minty, just caught up with this thread. Brilliant news that he'll be home before Christmas!

So lots more changes!!

Panel has been brought forward...... twice.....only two more sleeps to go !!!

I have the most awful stomach pain and anxiety!!! The good side is I've had a couple of meetings with foster carers and have lots of pictures and a little video of him and not that I'm in any way biased but he is bloody gorgeous

I've spent the evening getting his little intro books ready and honestly not sure how/if I can sleep before panel. I'm the first one in so fingers crossed by Thursday lunchtime it will be all official

Good luck for the panel.

Remember they wouldn't be taking you to panel unless they were 99% sure it would be ok

It was a big ol yes and they want placement brought forward so the little man should be home in two weeks!!!!!!!!

Fantastic, wonderful news !!!!

I'm guessing you are starting introductions on Monday. So please let us know how it goes .

( Without giving too may identifying details of course - it's easy to forget that you have done separate threads that give the child's exact age and then mention that the Fc has three kids and two dogs and child has been with them since birth etc. Although obviously security isn't an issue for everyone )

Just waiting for ADM to sign off but panel have requested that that happens next week so as soon as I get the call I'm off to meet him. It's a total whirlwind and only a one week intro planned. Feel sick just typing this, he's finally coming home after what feels like a lifetime of waiting spent a lovely afternoon getting all of Santas bits n bobs wrapped and planning his birthday treat as that's coming up as well.

Lordy, the difference 3 months makes