Help, we've got to look round schools!

[Cantthinkofannewname]

Our two DC are birth half siblings, both removed at birth and placed with us very young. Both were exposed to drugs in utero (as were older siblings who were left with birth family longer hence removal and v little contact - this together with very early removal/move to us mean I don't think attachment or instability are likely to be big issues - I can't tell you more about this for reasons of not outing myself).

DC1 is doing well developmentally and has no statement or anything like that. DC1 struggles with self control and has problems hitting, kicking etc especially when frustrated or routine is disrupted. Nursery are doing sterling work and improvements have been huge and I've also got some great tips from them.

We are very unlikely to ask for a delayed start or part time (I'd lose my job basically) but I'm considering leaving DC1 in nursery till the children all go full time. Should I mention this?

DC2 is mixed ethnicity, and we want them both to go to the same primary school so as well as looking at atmosphere we'll be looking at ethnic mix and seeing whether they'd feel out of place (especially) DC2. I'm also trying to think how to put this to the school - anyone mentioned e.g. special needs or issues with a second child when looking for school for a first child?

How much should I tell them? Just the fact that the DCs are adopted? Something of the reasons behind their removal? Or leave that till they start? Or not at all?

Anything else I should ask about? Someone has mentioned behaviour strategies, I have to say I hadn't considered that they'd use anything beyond immediate consequences for Reception age but should I ask? I guess I'm used to nurturing nursery workers!

I think with schools you have to get as much info as you can - and then trust your instincts! I think "adopted from local authority at age X" is enough information for a good school to get the idea. Any school that thinks "very young so no problems" will tell you all you need to know about that school! I wouldn't get into details about part-time or full-time right now, but I did ask:

• to meet the SENCO, class teacher and head
• how many LAC or adopted families (as a rough proportion) in school
• examples of how they used pupil premium funding
• examples of how they would adapt behaviour management approaches for adopted pupils (I.e. Not using isolating, visual behaviour charts, or things that might trigger shame or panic) This might not be a pressing issue in Reception but there are many school years there after that

If you're happy with their answers and feel like you could trust them and work together, then hopefully you'll have found a good school!

Good reply from Iamnotaspoon
I think gut instinct is the most important, see how the staff interact with everyone (not just pupils) ask them about flexible approaches for individual pupils. Look at their most recent ofsted report for the bit about "emotional and social".
Ask if they have learning mentors and what the waiting time is for a child to be referred to one etc

Good advice from the others. Some schools also have play therapy etc. We also made the decision to keep ds in nursery until everyone went full time. Discussed and agreed with senco at home visit as he finds routine changes too stressful.

Thanks all. Interesting to see I'm not the only one who thinks proper full time all at once might be good. I've kind of learned my lesson with some nursery timetable changes.

Some schools do full time for everyone from day 1. Dd's did. 2nd September 2014 8:45am - off they went. Other schools in the city dragged it out for up to three weeks! It was crazy.

I suspect that the reason that Dd's school,does that is because it has a thriving nursery and about three quarters of the kids go to the nursery.

Might be something to look for......

None of the schools here do. I was also wondering about firmly telling the school they have to give him a full time place from day 1 but I think DC1 would find that more unsettling.

OK, two schools rung, two appointments made, at both they sat up and took notice when I said DC1 is adopted, so that's a good sign, we're seeing "the relevant person" at both but they have a different title in each (assume that's normal). At one of them we'll have DC2 with us so the point about culture and ethnic mix will be easier to make.

Annoyingly one of our two closest schools won't work at all both from the point of view of ethnic mix and the lack of after hours provision. I'm not sure whether to look at it anyway or not bother.

Ask them what they spend the pupil premium plus on for the children who are LAC/ex-LAC. That helped us make our decision. There are the schools that say 'what is that?' The schools that say 'swimming lessons for our poorer students' and the schools who say play therapy, art therapy etc. Go with the latter! :)

Ooh yes onsite after school care may be important. For us it was as ds can't cope with childminder or babysitter at home but really happy to stay at school.

Right, first school ticked, very impressed, feel it would in some ways be a very easy transition from nursery, and they also seem to ease them in to Y1/Y2 a bit more gradually in terms of activities and arrangements than some I've heard about. They have two or three posts paid for by PP and one of these (dedicated family worker) showed us round and knew just what we were talking about and all the issues that might present and talked about "a toolbox rather than one size fits all". A few adopted children and a smattering of LAC through the school, and some from families that have needed a lot of support in a similar kind of way.

Was a not very popular school but now has shiny new buildings so the only downside is it's now quite popular - meaning that the older classes are very small but the younger ones full to bursting - and also that most children will not be from our part of town - but honestly it's pretty close and two older children in our street go there (having started when not popular), plus two other children of friends, and there should be younger siblings from our part of town starting with DC1.

Two further schools penciled in, one has an open day with promise to talk to head after main tour, and one only does specific appointments so I've made one. DH says I might as well go to school no 4 (which will end up being one of those, not sure which depending!) on my own as we will have plenty to compare to.

(Oh and the member of staff did get confused at first between PP and PP+ but remembered and mentioned a play therapist they have in one day a week that they've used that money for in the past, and that they had problems accessing therapies for LAC through the LA so bought them in (how sensible!), I think PP itself is mainly on trips and extracurriculars for FSM kids.)

I'm also doing the school visits and feel like a fish out of water! Went to one today which I think would be great, but DD probably wouldn't get in because it's Catholic and we're not.... (she's at the top of the list for non-Catholics, but they've had 100% of places filled by Catholics for the past few years). It's a shame as our other 2 local options have separate Infants and Juniors, so that means change and upheaval again in a few years. Wish priority admissions really meant that...

The advantage of separate infant and junior schools is that the infants really are all about the little ones and can feel a lot safer and secure. They also don't take on any initiatives that aren't right for the little ones, the staff are all experts in infant education (rather than just generally primary), staff inset is all about infant education, assemblies are aimed at the right ages and there are no rebellious y6 children to copy bad behaviour from! Transition between a linked infant and junior school is usually really well managed with y3 teachers spending some time in the year 2 classes and the y2s visiting the juniors. They also all move up as a cohort so established friendships can survive. Obviously there is still some change, but don't write a school off just because it is infants only.