Books for siblings

[tiitymouse]

Hello, I posted a long time ago about cleaning for social work visits, and what sort of biscuits (I was so nervous, I forgot to offer them!) I'm now in stage 2, and after a reading list, please.

Our social worker came to chat to my BC, and brought two books which were more aimed at adopted children, than a BC getting ready for an adopted sibling. So,I bought 'Emma's Yucky Brother', and 'Adopting a brother or sister'. Are there any others people would recommend?

I'm also posting to say 'hello', as I was hoping it would be okay for me to post my wobbles and questions here over the coming months. I'm a single adopter, and while I have a good support network, it's all new to them, so I could really do with a bit of hand holding at times! Thank you in advance.

How old is your BC?

Sorry! 7yrs.

I like 'the New Small Person' by the author of Charlie and Lola - can't remember her name. It's not specifically about adoption but she leaves it ambiguous about where the new child has come from. In the story the first child doesn't initially like being displaced by the second so I found it a good conversation starter about the realities of getting a new sibling with my BC! They are only 4 though so it might be a bit young for your BC...

We're big Lauren Child fans, so that sounds great, thank you!

We too like the new Lauren Child book, I was very pleased to come across that one in my local library.
There's not much for children 7 and upwards ( we're looking for 6 and upwards appropriate books at the moment), but if you don't mind picture books, like the Lauren Child one, we found ( and continue to find ) 'Snowflakes' by Cerrie Burnell very useful. It helped the boys understand how their new sister might feel when she arrived with us. It's about a little girl from the city who goes to live with 'grandma mitzi' in the country. The little girl finds everything different and worries that she is different at first, until her grandma teaches her that everyone is different . She then finds friendship and starts enjoying new feelings and making new friends.
That synopsis doesn't do any justice to the book I'm afraid; it's actually much richer with themes of loss and familiarity etc. it's a great book,that stimulated some interesting discussions with the boys. Only the other night I re-read it to my now 6 year old and he drew his own conclusion that grandma mitzi might be a foster carer.
My other suggestion is the Julia Donaldson book, Paper Dolls. Again it isn't necessarily about adoption but it could be read to relate to adoption. The book covers feelings of loss, fear, memory, threat, love.

My eldest son thought the paper dolls were about ' people ' being taken away from the little girl and this again helped him think about the transition his sister made / was making from foster care/ birth parents.
Hope these suggestions help.

Thank you very much, they sound just the thing. BC will read anything from 'baby' books through to Harry Potter, just today BC curled up and asked to have a very baby book read, so I think picture books are just the thing for big topics. Starting stage 2 in earnest, and adoption becoming a frequent topic, is affecting BC quite a lot, especially with the start of the new school year, due to not being good at articulating feelings, I think. We're having lots of reassuring 'you'll always be my baby' time.

You might need to have a talk about how there isn't a limited pot of love that it increases to fit each new person in your life So for example people with 1 brother don;t love their brother twice as much as someone who has two, someone who has 4 grandparents doesn;t love them a quarter as much as someone who has one (whatever is most appropriate analogy for them)

That's the first talk we had, he's reasonably sure in that, I think. I think it's that restructuring of his identity- from being the little one, to being a big brother, I think he needs to be the 'little one' intensively, in preparation for being the bigger one, if you see what I mean? I don't know, I'm just enjoying the cuddles for a change instead of being grown up and cool!